I have written a lot before about control. Most importantly that we cannot control other people or things. However, we can control our own life and how we react to things.
Positive, loving energy, creates and draws more positive and loving energy. Denser, fearful energy creates and draws more negative feelings and denser energy.
In my own life right now I have some great examples of how I decided what it is that I really want. This is personal, but hey, I’m an open book, and if it helps even one person it is worth it. So here goes.
I decided a while ago, that the thing(s) I wanted most in life was to be happy (less stress), be healthy, and to be financially secure (ie get my bills paid down). We have a construction company and (without going into too much detail) it got slow for quite a while and our debt load got HUGE. I also had some health problems for a while (that are thankfully better now, not perfect, but better).
So, I will share how am I handling it, what I am affirming, and maybe it will help you with deciding what it is you want and how to get it.
For the happiness factor. Every day, I focus on what I can do, and keep moving forward. There are certain things I do to be happy. The biggest one is to know and affirm that I am right where I need to be and to know that I can do, be or change anything in my life in any given moment. It is often a personal choice whether or not to be happy. Don’t tune me out here, I know a lot of you are saying “easy for you to say”.
However, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that this last spring I went through a pretty tough time. My health wasn’t all that great, and I was super tired and depressed. The one thing that kept me going was that I knew I would get through it. I remember thinking “One day I will look back at this as the hardest period of my entire life”.
So, in order to “be happy’ and ‘be healthy’, the first thing I did was acknowledge that it was something I was going through and that I would come out the other side of it. I went to my doctor, my naturopath, a Soul Realignment Practitioner, got my energy cleared, my house cleared out of all its ghosts, prayed a lot, tried to get out of the house when I could … the list goes on. I kept moving in the direction I wanted to be heading. I tried really hard not to focus on how lousy I was feeling.
As much as our energy is powerful, so are our brains. We actually build ‘bridges’ in our brains for repetitive thoughts and behaviours. This is how habits are formed. We have all had times in our life where something has happened that was so painful that we thought we might not survive it. If you are reading this, you survived it. You need to focus on the fact that you will survive it this time too. No matter how hard it is, you will survive it. This does two things, it enhances an energy of creating better feelings, and it also keeps your brain from creating negative bridges. (ie. This hurts so bad, I’m going to die vs. I can get through this, I always do)
Something I have always worked on is not worrying about the stuff I cannot control. This can be hard to do for many people. When you are not feeling good about who and where you are you are likely to take on controlling behaviors. Even with the small stuff.
For example: My PC has been breaking down. I messed with it myself for a week and then decided it was beyond my abilities to fix it so I brought it in to be fixed. It was in the shop for a few days and I got it back. I thought all was well, but a couple of days ago noticed that I was missing an awful lot of e-mails. I get tons of emails and my in-box was actually manageable ~ I knew something was amiss. So I checked it out and one of my email addresses was not sending emails to my in-box. It took just over a day of working with my Web Hosing company (they were super helpful), and I got my emails up and running again.
Half-way through this weeks-long process (at least I hope its done now and that what I think is half-way is), my husband came home and commented on how calm I was despite all these issues and the time it was taking.
I was calm because I knew I could not control it. Why get totally upset over something I can’t control? I was trying. I was working on it every day, moving forward, trying this and that, taking my PC in to a professional when all else failed. I was doing what I could and letting go of the rest.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t care that I couldn’t get back to my clients. Or that I didn’t care I wasn’t getting blog posts or work done. It was that there was nothing I could do about it except what I was doing so why get all riled up! (and yes, meditation does help – a lot).
I need to mention too that I was working on this blog post on Friday morning when my website had a “FATAL ERROR”. I could not get back to this post, and when I tried to pull up www.tamarahawk.com online, every page said “FATAL ERROR” so anyone going to my site on Friday would have seen only that. I must admit I was a bit worried that my website was gone and I would need to recreate the whole thing from scratch. I chose to go and sit and meditate for a while and then contacted my techie friends and webhosing company and they were able to get it back online for me.
It could have gone either way, I could have focused on all the lousy aspects of what was happening, or I could “Let go and Let God” and just do for the sake of doing. I chose to let go. (Please do not confuse letting go for giving up).
Now for the second thing I am trying to create. Getting my bills paid down or off. (I know a lot of you will be able to relate to this one).
That last sentence I wrote is NOT how I manifest things. We need to focus on what we want and focusing on bills and debt, no matter what the context, will not get them paid off, it will just create more bills and debt.
I focus on money and cheques coming in from both businesses. I focus on money going into a savings account. I focus on the knowing I will have what it is I really want and need. I focus on anything positive I can think of around having abundance. I pay people I owe instead of buying myself something new that I do not need.
So now here is the part that some of you may find difficult. You need to ACT like you have what you want, and ACT in a way for you to get it. So many ‘guru’s’ are talking about manifesting things and saying you can have whatever you want. Yes you can. They say to act as if you already have it. However, you also need to ACT in a way that will get you there.
An easy example: You do not lose weight by eating and acting like a fat person, and you do not create abundance by spending money you do not have.
Here’s another personal example that I hope will explain this in more detail and that you can relate to. I have been trying to get together with a friend for quite a while. We live a few hours apart and we are planning on getting together for a weekend. She is prepared to go next weekend, but I am not sure. I have not committed to next weekend away because at this moment, I am needing to wait for other people or things (remember, I cannot control those things), before I know if I can afford a weekend away.
I was thinking about this situation and wondering about Manifesting it. It crossed my mind that if I can manifest anything, why don’t I just plan it and then manifest the weekend trip. Kind of a “build it and they will come” mentality.
This is why I am not doing that…..
Firstly. As I wrote in the beginning paragraphs, the things I want to manifest the most are being happy, healthy and financially secure. Which includes less stress.
Here is how trying to manifest my weekend away to happen quickly can create stress and bite me in the you know where.
If I commit now to a weekend away for next weekend there are a few things that could happen. The biggest one being is that I will be relying on other people/things, and this will create MORE STRESS. The stress of waiting, the stress of ‘will I let my friend down’, ‘will the cheques come in’, the list goes on.
If I commit and the expected accounts receivable for the construction end of things does not come in, then I will feel badly on many levels. I will either have to go into more debt to go for the weekend OR I will have to cancel the weekend with my friend at the last minute.
In either of those scenarios I will be moving away from one of the main things I want in life. I will either be spending money I do not have yet, creating MORE debt, or making my friend unhappy, which will create more unhappiness and stress.
So, here is where I stand. I will be patient and I will wait. I know beyond any doubt that me and my friend will get together. I just cannot control other people or things so I cannot control the when of it. I will not spend or commit to spending money that I do not have, nor will I put myself and my friend in a position where we feel badly about a last-minute cancellation.
You do always get what you create. It is just a matter of deciding what you want and letting go of the how’s or when’s. If you are facing any decisions like this, just remember to always go back to what it is that you want the most and create from there.