How I Beat my Depression

Disclaimer:   I’m not a doctor.  I will not tell you that anti-depressants don’t work.

I am NOT a medical doctor and I am NOT telling you that you should stop listening to your doctor. I am NOT telling you to go off medicine if you are on it.  I am NOT telling you that you are to blame for any illness you have. 

The entirety of this post is to tell you what I learned, and what I have done to feel better. We are all on individual journey’s and what is right for me might  not be right for you. 

 

Okay, now that that is out of the way, here is the post:

How I cured myself of ongoing depression

When I write this this blog, it is always with the intention of helping you to live your best life. To overcome difficulties, to truly manifest the life that you desire.

I am here to help people. I know this.  It has been my calling since I was a child.  Even when I was very young, I can remember wanting to help people feel better.  I remember feeling that I had things to share that could help.

I have always had a strong connection with Source. I have always been able to feel the energy around me.  I didn’t always know what it meant.  I just knew I could feel it when someone was upset, or if they weren’t speaking their truth (still can).

I always knew that my energy was creating. ALWAYS.  Even if I did not have the words to explain it properly, it was an inner knowingness that I still cannot fully explain to this day.

Even though I have known this my whole life, I have still had challenges. I have still been sucked into negative vortexes and stayed there for much too long.  There have been times where I went for months or years ‘forgetting’ my connection to Source.  I have been in bad relationships.  I have lived with alcoholics, drug addicts, and abusers (I didn’t realize at the time that I couldn’t help everyone).  I have struggled financially.  I have suffered depression.  I have been single and wanted a relationship.  I have had health issues that seemed to hang on forever.  The list goes on, but I think you get the point.  I am sharing this with you to let you know that as much as I share inspiring things, I have been where you have been.  I am NOT there now, and I have not been there, except for very brief moments, for a very long time.  My life is good now, and I CREATED IT THAT WAY.  I share this because I KNOW, without a doubt that whatever you are going through, you DO have the power to change it.  YOU CAN CREATE DIFFERENT THINGS FOR YOURSELF.

Your thoughts create your reality.

I’ve probably said that 100 times throughout these writings over the years. I know a lot of you get this intellectually, but you still can’t quite get over the hump of making it work for you.  You do your affirmations, you try and think positive, you have vision boards, or meditations you do, but you still can’t seem to get past whatever it is.

I want to tell you a bit about my personal challenge with depression and perhaps how I beat it will help you with whatever challenge you may be going through right now.

We all have moments where we don’t feel our best. Some of us have moments when we are downright depressed ~ feel like crying, sleeping, killing ourselves, wondering what the point of life is etc.  Thinking and wondering if this is all there is to our life.  Feeling like we have wasted our precious time not doing what we came here to do.  Feeling helpless to change our circumstances.  I have been there in the past.  I used to go there a few times a year (ask my husband, he used to worry about me).  I NEVER go there anymore.  I can’t even find that feeling anymore.  Ever.

I won’t lie to you. There are times when I do feel a little ‘sad for no reason’.  Or ‘depressed’ if you will.  I no longer use the word ‘depressed’ though, because to me that word has a much more permanent feeling vibration to it.

In the past when I felt this way, I would talk to myself much differently than I do now.

In the past if I found myself feeling sad, or depressed, I would say things like:

Why am I feeling this way?

What is wrong with me?

Am I even living the life I’m supposed to be living. Shouldn’t it be easier if I am on the right path?

It’s not logical I feel this way, my life is good.

Why am I so sad?

Why am I so depressed?

Why does my life suck?

Why won’t so and so, do such and such.  I don’t like this situation, but I can’t change it, because they are acting a certain way (or doing a certain thing, or ????)  Their actions are screwing up aspects of my life.  If only they would change, I would be able to do something differently.

Why don’t I have the energy to get off my ass and do something? I know if I went for a walk I would feel better, but I can’t even find the energy to get dressed.

Why did I waste all those years?

Why am I wasting this day? Being all sad.  Its beautiful outside, I have a great family, why am I so stuck.

Why, why, why?

I think you get the picture.

Many people will tell you that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.  It’s not.  It starts with your thinking, gets followed up by your energy, gets exacerbated by the circumstances that appear in your life (because of your thinking), and then your brain starts to change.  It gets a new ‘set point’.  It’s like “what came first the chicken or the egg”.

What came first the thoughts, the depression or the changes in the brain chemistry?

First off. I NEVER ask “Why” anymore.  It is what it is.  When I used to ask myself why, I would come up with a million reasons why I could be depressed.  Guess what that got me?  More reasons to be depressed.  Even things that were not originally on my radar came up.  Things that were out of my control came up (a lot).  Other people and their issues came up.

forgive and forget

 

These are real world “tips” of what I do, and questions I ask myself, when that feeling of depression comes over me now:

  • I am an empath, and I truly do feel the energy of others and take on their crap ~ unknowingly sometimes. So the first question I ask is “Is this mine?”  For me personally, and probably for you too if you are reading this, that is the FIRST question you should ask yourself.
  • Is there something that I have control over that I can change? (often the answer to this is no, because we cannot change other people or things)
  • Am I tired? or  Am I hungry?
    It amazes me how we have ‘trained’ ourselves out of listening to our most basic needs. We ‘hold it’ when we need to go to the bathroom, we don’t nap when we are tired, we don’t eat when we are hungry.  This is something that I have been personally working on for a while now.  Listening to what my PHYSICAL BODY NEEDS.  I BET that those of you who feel depression, could answer “Yes” to one of these two questions AT LEAST 50% of the time.
  • Am I trying to be something I’m not?
    Much of our depression comes from trying to conform to what other people’s expectations are of us. We are an artist trying to be a bookkeeper; or a healer trying to elicit change by working in a government office; or an executive trying to be a full time mommy;  or a science geek trying to serve fries with a smile.  Or a happy person that feels guilty that they ‘have it so good’ (yes, this is a ‘thing’).  Or a stay at home wife that feels the need to be ‘perfect’, and always be keeping the house clean, to make her husband happy ~ after all he’s working and she’s not (I threw this in there because this particular issue COMES UP A LOT with my clients).   Anyway, ask yourself. “Am I trying to fit my round peg into a square hole?”I must tell you, that there is nothing wrong with working a job (bookkeeper, serving fries etc.), to support yourself. It is whether you are focusing on using the job to get what you want (rent/food money/savings/debt paid off/a great vacation); or whether you are focused on being stuck in the job forever.  When you use the job to get ahead you are empowered.  When you think you are stuck doing what you do not like forever you are disempowered.
  • Another thing I do VERY differently when these down moods hit me, is I say “This will pass, it always does”.  (as opposed to having a laser focus on the fact I feel like crap, and trying to figure out why)
  • Often I will take a nap and listen to an audio. I choose the audio based on what seems to be specifically ‘bothering’ me in that moment. I have linked to many of my favorites over the years on this blog.  Meditation Posts.
  • I will read an inspiring book.
  • I will go for a walk (sometimes you really gotta push yourself for this one).
  • I will go out and sit in the grass, or hug one of the big trees out in my yard (easier than going out in public).
  • I remind myself that this just happens sometimes, it’ll go away (if I let it).
  • Instead of asking “why” questions in my head, which creates a snowball of negative energy, I sit and write lists of things I am grateful for.

The only time my depression HAS EVER lasted more than a morning, (or maybe a day), is when I thought about how depressed I was or asked myself the “why” questions I have listed above.

For me personally, the best thing I do for myself when I feel like this, is that when nothing seems to be working to pull me out of it, I go to sleep for a time (10 minutes to 3 hours). Nothing will screw up your head, thoughts and energy more than fatigue.  (Think of cranky babies that have no coping skills because they ‘missed their nap’.  Just because you are ‘older’ doesn’t mean you aren’t human with human needs).

I gotta tell you, I almost didn’t write this post. I didn’t want to get into ‘blaming’ you for your depression.  And I am NOT blaming you for your depression. Depression is a REAL thing, and it does change who we are, our brain chemistry, and how we show up in the world.  The ENTIRE reason for this post is that I myself suffered from depression and I came out of it … ON PURPOSE.

I am hoping that these things will work for you. I understand if they don’t (they won’t always work for everyone, we are all so unique).  I am not here to judge anyone.  I just wanted to share what worked for me, hoping and praying that it will work for you.  If just ONE person, the hours it took me to write it will be well worth it.

 

Always with Love,

Tamara

 

I will not tell you that anti-depressants don’t work. I’m not a doctor.

I am NOT a medical doctor and I am NOT telling you that you should stop listening to your doctor. I am NOT telling you to go off medicine if you are on it.  I am NOT telling you that you are to blame for any illness you have. 

The entirety of this post is to tell you what I learned, and what I have done to feel better. We are all on individual journey’s and what is right for me might  not be right for you. 

 

If you are feeling blocked and think that some energy work will help you, your next group remote energy clearing healing starts on August 21, you can see more details here. 28 Day Energy Clearing/Healing Offering ~ Starts August 21, 2017 This is a full week longer than this energy work usually goes.

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Or, connect with me on Facebook

 

 

 

Do You Know What You Want?

Do you even know what it is you want from your life?

Many people don’t.  They know they want things to be different, but they have no idea what different might look like.  They sometimes try to define themselves by what makes other people happy.

If this is you, it might be time to get back to the basics.

Sometimes when we get into a habitual way of living we can feel a little stuck.  We try and plan and dream but it doesn’t quite seem to work.  We don’t even know what will make us happy or help us feel better.  All we know is that where we are at feels a little bit stagnant and boring.

Sometimes we think that something that made us happy in the past will make us happy now.  We think back to a sport we used to play, or a hobby we used to have and we try it again, but it doesn’t bring us the happiness that it used to.  We wonder what is wrong with us that what was supposed to make us happy, doesn’t work anymore.

what makes you happy

Steps you can take to figure out what you want and what makes you happy.

Our thoughts do create our reality, so the first thing you need to do is STOP saying “I’m stuck”.  The more you say it, the more you create a feeling of stuckness.  You will come up with many reasons why you are stuck and prove it to yourself over and over.  Thinking and affirming that you are stuck will keep you from taking any action or trying anything new.

When you go to bed at night, think back over your day and find the happiest or most content moment of your day.  What were you doing in that moment?  As you drift off to sleep, imagine yourself being able to do that again tomorrow if you want to.

In the morning as you lie in bed, think of what you are grateful for in your life.  Have a nice long stretch (or a bunch of stretches), and feel grateful to be alive.  Think of at least one thing you will do today that will make you feel good (even if it is a task you don’t like to do like vacuuming, imagine how good it will feel to get it done).

Get rid of guilt.  If you were happy just reading a book, going for a walk, or ‘doing nothing’, don’t feel guilty for it.  As a matter of fact, you should be doing more of that if it is what made you happy.

If you have something that you must do that you don’t really like doing, get that done and out of the way early in your day so you aren’t worrying about it all day long.

Trust that as you begin to feel better, you will start feeling more inspired to do other things.  This will lead you to finding out what you like.  We all change and grow with time and what used to make you happy might not appeal to you anymore.  Things that you used to think were boring might be what makes you happy now.

Don’t measure your present circumstances by what ‘used to be’.  Find what makes you happy now and do more of that.  I guarantee you that once you start feeling better by doing what makes you happy, more things will present to you that you can do that will bring enjoyment.

It is okay to change.  Change is good.  If you are unsure of what you want, be patient with yourself.  Take some baby steps.  You will figure out what really makes you happy.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a phone psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to do a post to say thank you.  Thank you to all of you who are reading this.  I appreciate you more than you know.

I have so much to be grateful for, as do you.  As we celebrate Thanksgiving Day in Canada, it reminds us to be grateful for all we have.  Gratitude is a very powerful emotion, it is right up there with love.

As you focus on all you are grateful for, as you feel the gratitude running through your physical body and through your energy bodies, you can’t help but feel the love pour forth from your heart chakra.

It is a wonderful feeling and I am feeling it as I write this.

If you ever find yourself feeling down, let your thoughts go to a place of gratitude, as you do you will find that you will feel better ~ its pretty much guaranteed.

So Happy Thanksgiving, thank you for reading my blog, and thank you for being such a big part of my life, even if we have never met.

With love,

Tamara

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Just Who Are You Letting Off the Hook?

So you have someone in your life that has been a jerk to you.  Maybe they owe you money, or maybe they have done something really mean to you, or done or said something that hurt your feelings, or left you in the lurch in some way.

If you were to make a choice to let this go, who exactly would you be letting off the hook?

Well, yourself of course.

It is not your job to police everyone else around you.  You cannot make other people do what you want them to do no matter how hard you try or what manipulative effort you put forth.  They will only do what they want to do.

Most people that have done what you think they have done don’t care.  Think about this.  You have been sitting and worrying and fuming and making yourself sick, and the object of your anger/frustration/upset is going on with their life as if nothing is wrong!!!  How dare they?!?

Think about the person.  If they are on drugs, on booze, have no morals, or are narcissists or psychopaths, or any other number of things ~ they don’t care.  They don’t feel like you do, they don’t process information or feelings the way you do, they simply get on with their lives.  AND YOU DON’T.

When are you going to let yourself off the hook for their bad behaviour?

I know first hand how much it sucks when someone owes you money and they don’t pay you back, or when someone you trusted and relied on did something that ripped your heart out.  Been there, done that ~ a lot.

No amount of your suffering or upset is going to change anything ~ EVER.

The only thing that will give you a chance of you feeling better is to let it go.  You aren’t punishing them by hanging on, you are punishing yourself.

I’m not even going to lie and say its easy all the time (although a lot of times once you make the decision it is).  I will say that once you let it go, let yourself off the hook and move on, you are pretty much guaranteed to feel better.

Other people are going to do what they are going to do.  You need to do what you need to do to feel as good as you can in any given moment and if that means letting it go and forgetting it and moving on, then that just might be what you need to do.

forgive and forget

Forgive or Forget?

A lot of people will tell you, “I can forgive, but I can never forget”.  If you can’t forget, then you haven’t forgiven.  That really is it in a nutshell.

Some people might not deserve your forgiveness, but you do.

I am not saying that if someone you are around has cheated you that you forgive and forget and trust them completely again if they have not changed their behaviours, attitude and energy.  There is something to be said for remembering their energetic footprint and, if its still the same, then maybe they don’t really deserve for you to forgive them.  If this is the case, it is decision time for you as far as whether or not you still want them around.  Maybe its best to just let them go and move on with your life in a separate direction.  You will however need to work on your own energy so you don’t bring a similar situation into your life in the future ~ that’s where the ‘forgetting’ comes in.

Here’s a couple examples:

Money

Someone takes money from you and doesn’t give it back.  You can hang on to lousy energy and feel horrible about it forever, constantly thinking about it, never letting it go.  You may say you have forgiven them, but if you refuse to forget about it, then you are still on your own self-imposed “hook”.

You’d need to basically let the money go to truly have forgiven and forgotten.  You may want to NEVER give them money again (or if they stole it you may want to never let them alone with your wallet again), but you don’t have to hang onto that resentment energy.

If the person is that horribly unreliable, it would be best to just let them go anyway.  Let them be who they need to be and you move on and be who you need to be.  You don’t really ever need to think of them again after that if you don’t want to.

Relationships

You have a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, and they cheated on you.  You decided that you would continue a relationship with them after that.

That is a personal choice and would be different for everyone ~ no judgements from me, but here’s the energy of it.

A lot of people in this situation would say “I can forgive him/her, but I will never forget”.  Here is what you get for yourself by doing this.  You get a life of mistrust, memories coming back to haunt you, tension in a relationship, and being in a situation where you will never be truly open and loving again.

If your spouse cheated, they did it for a reason.  It was either a one-off situation because you were having problems, or they have one of the issues I wrote about above (substance abuse, narcissism etc.).

If they have huge issues, they do not deserve your trust.  That’s it period.  You can forgive and forget for yourself and move on, but there is zero point in forgiving and moving forward with someone like that ~ because you won’t ever be able to truly forget, it will replay over and over for you forever.  Because the cheater in question has changed nothing.

Only you can change yourself.  Only you can let yourself off the hook.  Only you can let things go.

Its not a good thing to hang onto anger and resentment and if you keep yourself in the presence of someone who you intuitively know is going to screw you over again then you are doing yourself a disservice.

You are a creator, you create with your thoughts and energy.  Wouldn’t you like to be able to finally move on?  To start from this moment and look towards what you want rather than to what is wrong in the past?

The sooner you let them go, the sooner you can forget about it.  Your life will be so much better for it that you won’t even have the time or energy to look back at ‘what was’.

I am NOT talking about burying your emotions either.  I am saying let it go.  You cannot control other people and if they have treated you badly it says more about them than it does about you.

If you feel like you kind of want to let go, but don’t feel like you are quite there yet, then pray and affirm:  “Help me be willing to let this go“.  You will get there.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

The Best Channels of October 2010

Happiness comes from within, I wrote this blog post in 2010 and it still applies today.  What makes you happy?  Are you doing it?  If not, why not?

do what makes you happy

Don’t Let Anyone Tell You You Aren’t Happy

There’s so much talk these days about what makes people happy.  Its on the news, in advertisements, at work, in self-help books, and all over the Internet.  It has to do with daily activities, work, relationships, money, what we do with our days, the list is endless.  We are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us that we too can be happy.  if only we have this, do that, or live our life in a certain way.

It takes a lot of different types of people to make the world the place it is.  We all have our roles to play.

To read the rest of the Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t happy post, click here.

let go, move on

This post is also from 2010, its all about letting go. Is there anything you need to let go of in order to live the life you want?  It is really hard to move forward when your anchor is holding the bottom of the sea.

Sometimes its Hard to Let Go

That is so true. Often, we know that something is not good for us but we just can’t seem to let go of it. This applies to people, jobs, attitudes, past hurts, excess weight, the list is endless.

We do have ultimate control over our own lives, but sometimes our brain takes over and we repeat thoughts and feelings over and over in our head. We know we should be affirming something else for ourselves, we know that we should let go, but we just can’t seem to do it.

So, how do you begin to let go.

To read the rest of the Sometimes its Hard to Let Go post, click here.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Revisiting some older posts from September 2010

A lot of the channels I get just don’t expire.  The message might be from 5 years ago, but it still applies.

They will apply more for some than for others and that’s okay.  We are all in this together and we all hit certain points of our Ascension at different times.

I am going to share a couple posts from September 2010 because I know (as much as I wrote these years ago), a lot of you are experiencing this now and will benefit from reading these words.

Its funny, when I look back its hard to believe that it was so long ago that I wrote these posts.  They are so relevant today, just as much as they were when I first wrote them.

Hope you find them to be helpful.

With much love

Tamara

Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t happy

There’s so much talk these days about what makes people happy.  Its on the news, in advertisements, at work, in self-help books, and all over the Internet.  It has to do with daily activities, work, relationships, money, what we do with our days, the list is endless.  We are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us that we too can be happy.  if only we have this, do that, or live our life in a certain way.

It takes a lot of different types of people to make the world the place it is.  We all have our roles to play.  Because of the people I know, the time I spend on-line, and because I have a blog, I am constantly hearing how I can make my blog friendlier for search engines, how I can grow my blog, sell things on my blog, all in order to make a lot of money……

You will have to click here to read the rest of this post

things will work out

 

This one might be a ‘biggie’ for some of you. Venus just went retrograde 3 days ago and a lot of personal relationships (and situations) might be changing…

Sometimes its hard to let go

That is so true.  Often, we know that something is not good for us but we just can’t seem to let go of it.  This applies to people, jobs, attitudes, past hurts, excess weight, the list is endless.

We do have ultimate control over our own lives, but sometimes our brain takes over and we repeat thoughts and feelings over and over in our head.  We know we should be affirming something else for ourselves, we know that we should let go, but we just can’t seem to do it.

So, how do you begin to let go.

You will need to click here to read the rest of this post on letting go.

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Only Live till Bedtime

I know that is a funny title for this post, but I do have a point with it.  Most of you are so stressed out, and so busy and so ungrounded that your anxiety levels have gone through the roof.  Or maybe its gone beyond that and you don’t have the energy to feel so anxious anymore, you just feel sick or shaky or burnt out.

It is really important to live in your moment.  It is not your moments that stress you out, its your perceptions of the future or the past that get you going.  There is nothing at all you can do about what has already happened in your life.  It is gone.

The astrological influences of the week are very much supportive of forgiveness.  Take some time this weekend to forgive yourself and others.  I myself have been writing out all of the things in my past that I forgive myself for (white paper, blue pen ~ there is something about the energy of writing vs. typing).  It can be tricky but it is a much needed activity for all of us at this time.  You cannot move forward in your life if you are full of regrets or anger or ‘should have’s’, or ‘could have’s’.  What is, is.  You only have now.

Enjoy your Nows

As much as you need to move on from the past, you also must not over-worry about the future.  This doesn’t mean you don’t do some planning for the future; nor does it mean you be irresponsible in your present.

You can save up for things you want, (including retirement), you can buy insurance, you can plant seeds today that will grow tomorrow, you can be thoughtful about what you would like to do for vacation this year or next.  It is just very important that you do not worry about it.  Worrying about what might happen tomorrow just steals your enjoyment of today.

Hospitals and doctors offices are FULL of people who are physically ill because of anxiety.  Anxiety is brought about by worrying about things that you can do nothing about, or by trying to do everything at once, or worrying about not ‘getting it done’, or ‘having enough’, or ‘what if’ this or ‘what if’ that.

You cannot create the life you want by living in anxiety and fear of your future or resentments from the past.  It doesn’t feel good, and Law of Attraction (not to mention your habitual ways of thinking) will just bring you more opportunities to be anxiety ridden.  I know this from personal experience.

It feels much better if you can live in your moment as much as possible.  If you “Only Live till Bedtime”, then you are more present.  Be loving, just until bedtime, be happy, just until you go to sleep tonight, be grateful, be forgiving, be aware, be conscientious, be courteous, be helpful.  All, just until you go to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow, you can ground your energy and do it all over again ~ just until bedtime though.

Give this a try.  If it feels right to you, add the Affirmation “Just until bedtime” to your list of things to say to yourself.  You will feel better for it.

With much love and appreciation,

Tamara

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

Are you trying to fit a square peg in a round hole with your Career?

The second most common question I am getting from clients and from readers of my blog is about career.  Wanting to have a job that you like, where you resonate with the people you work with, and can make enough money at the same time.

I want you to ask yourself something.  Especially if you feel like you don’t know what path to take, or if you think you are on the wrong path in your life.

do what makes you happy

Are you trying to fit into other people’s expectations, or are you allowing yourself to go where you feel guided to go?

Really ponder that question.  So many of you that are reading this are being guided to use your gifts.  To be happy, to flourish, to share what you know and what you feel.  You want to connect with people who feel the way you do.  You want to fit in, you feel like there is more to life, but you feel so stuck.

I want you to try something.  I want you to get a piece of paper, and with blue ink, write down what your ideal life (or career, or calling, or job) would look like.

Don’t limit yourself to just what you know is lucrative financially, or what your parents did, or what you think is ‘secure’.  You need to just allow yourself to write down all the things that would (or do), make you happy in work.

You may not even know what type of job would look like that.  That part doesn’t matter yet.  Just write down all the feelings you’d like to have, the general type of work you would like to do.  Do you like to work with your hands?  Be outside?  Analyze data?  Research?  Read?  Learn?  Teach?  Talk to people?  Help people?  Be an activist?  Work with numbers?

Its okay if you start with the general idea of what you think you’d like to do for work.  Many of you place way too much value on what your parents did, or what your professor told you to do, or what society says is ‘the thing to do’.

That is why you start feeling so stuck.  You don’t want to conform to what ‘society’ says is right, but you just can’t stop thinking “I should…..”.  More and more of us on this planet feel the need to do many different jobs.  I talk to a lot of people (parents as well), where the message is “You (or your child), are an experiencer.  You would perish doing the same thing forever, its okay to change jobs and learn new things”.

So many of you reading this fall into that category.  You know you were born to experience life and to try different things.  I have done that myself, I have been a dog groomer, flag person, a Supervisor in a Government office, taught horseback riding lessons, a Manager, a psychic, a data entry person, secretary for civil engineers, shoveled horse poop, done facilities management, been a part-owner in a construction company, worked in a personnel department…. the list goes on and on.  Each of these things was an experience and all brought me to where I am today.

Some of them I made more money, and some of them I didn’t.  It doesn’t matter that much, I experienced all of them.  I am now doing my writing and my readings as my main ‘job’ and I love it.  It took me doing a lot of different things to get here though, and I am constantly growing, expanding and changing things that I do.

Don’t try and fit yourself where you don’t want to be.  It is perfectly okay to ‘work for money’, there is nothing wrong with that.  Some of you may be in a really good paying job that you don’t want to leave, and you don’t have to.  You can stay in a job for the money and find a ‘calling’ or a ‘potential career for later’, somewhere else.  You can pay off debt, save up money, cut your expenses (over time), and change careers if that is what you want to do.

You can do what ever you want to do.  Follow your heart, not the “masses”.  Don’t try and squeeze yourself into a round hole if you are a square peg ~ its way too uncomfortable and you won’t fit.

 

What Makes You Happy?

BE happy

So a friend of mine asked the question on Facebook, “What Makes You Happy”.  There were a TON of responses.  Here are some of them.  Not necessarily verbatim, but the gist of what people said:

  • I start by choosing to be happy and count my blessings
  • Taking a risk (and winding up happy)
  • I cannot find my true happiness outside my family
  • My happiness has been fleeting and did not last, vitamins helped with depression
  • Going to the movies
  • Being self-sufficient
  • Happiness is not something I find, it is something I strive to be

There were quite a few comments of people that were having a hard time finding happiness.  Happiness truly does come from within.  Sometimes we can get so focused on the stresses of life that we actually forget that it is okay to be happy.  We may (or may not), be surrounded by people who are unhappy and it brings our attention to all that is wrong in our world.

Just look at children.  Children know how to be happy.  All they need is some love and attention.  It is unfortunate that so many people are teaching their children that life is too stressful to be happy.  Children should be teaching US how to be happy and in our moment, but what I see is parents that are so stressed out and living in a different time; past, or future, that they cannot be present with their kids.  That just makes more stressed out adults in the future.  If you want to see a stressed out child, just look at a stressed out adult that cannot be present in the moment with their child.  When a child needs attention, and an adult is only giving them a half-assed attempt at attention, the child will scream and kick up a fuss.  Then the adult thinks it is the child that is causing stress.  That’s not the case, it is the adults lack of undivided attention in the moment that is stressing out the child.  Children can be wonderful mirrors to your life.  If you are blessed enough to have a child in your life try just spending time with them, colouring, reading, or playing with blocks, or going for a walk and looking through their eyes.  If you don’t have a child in your life, just go to the park and watch the children ~ you can learn a lot.

Truly, happiness comes from moments not lifestyle.  You have a choice in each and every moment whether to be appreciating a moment, or focusing elsewhere.  You can even find happiness in doing the dishes if you want to.  You could focus on your ‘messy, ungrateful family’, or you can focus on the fact that you can lose yourself in the moment of the dishes.  Feeling the warm water on your hands, the squeaky cleanness of plates, how your kitchen looks now that the dishes aren’t on the counter anymore.  If you go into your moment and keep your thoughts present, you will be able to find you have many more happy moments.  Happy moments make for a happy life.

Gratitude 2

This is something I have personally been working on myself as well.  Staying in a constant state of appreciation ~ it brings a lot of happiness.  I don’t have everything I want in my life, I never will because as I get what I want, I expand my consciousness and want more (or different).  Just know that when it comes right down to it, it doesn’t matter what external things you want, if you are not happy, none of it will matter.  Without happiness and appreciation nothing external will make you happy anyway.

Don’t let anyone else tell you how to be happy.  Just BE.  Be in your moment, appreciate, and see and experience just how happy you can be. If your thoughts wander to another place, or another time that is uncomfortable, just bring yourself right back into your present moment and find something that is here and now to focus on and appreciate.

Love

Tamara

On my walk today…

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I love walking in my neighbourhood.  A few weeks ago I posted some pictures of an Eagle I saw in a nest on my walk to the river by my house.

This morning I had to take my car in to the garage and when I was walking down my street, I saw these little guys in my front yard.  They are so cute, just little ones.

It was garbage day so that might have something to do with them wandering the streets at 9 am.

I spent about 10 or 15 minutes just talking to them and watching them.  I completely lost myself in the moment and was happy and smiling.  It feels good to be in your moment, not worried about anything, just being able to appreciate the little things that are right in front of you.  I feel blessed to have had this moment this morning and I am smiling now, just remembering the curiosity of these babies.

As you go through your weekend, try and have as many ‘moments of happiness’ that you can.  Live in your moment, right now, and appreciate all the things that you have, big and small.  You will feel better for it.

Love Tamara

 

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Racoons

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