Energy Alert ~ Full Moon in Gemini ~ Mercury Retrograde ~ December 3, 2017

If you are feeling blocked and think that some energy work will help you, your group, remote (long distance energy work), energy clearing and energy healing session for 2017 starts on December 18, 2017.  This will be the last session for 2017 until March 2018.  You can see more details here>> 21 Day Energy Clearing/Healing Offering ~ Starts December 18, 2017

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Energy Alert ~ Full Moon in Gemini ~ Mercury Retrograde ~ December 3, 2017

Oh what exciting times!!!  We have big energy events going on right now.  Lots of changes and shifts and ascension opportunities.

Who are you?  What do YOU want?  You really can have it.  You really need to focus on what it is you want.  I’ve written a lot lately about blame and victimhood, and being your authentic self.  These energies are coming to a head this weekend.

Its time to stop living small.  Its time to stop living someone else’s life.

There can be fear that comes along with these changes.  Have you gotten complacent?  Have you given up?  Have you been doing the same things for so long you don’t know how to do things differently?

A really good ritual that you can try is to write out your belief systems via your life stories.  It is often helpful to write out things you would like to release on the Full Moon, I do this myself on most months.  I write out what I want to release and then I burn the piece of paper (safely).

At the time of this Full Moon, Mercury is also going retrograde.  I’ve got to tell you, mercury retrograde isn’t a bad thing.  Its had a bad rap and a lot of you dread it.  Stop doing that to yourself, you are a creator and the more you dread it the more you open yourself up to having things go sideways on you.  You might not want to install new software on your computer, or buy a new car, or have too-deep conversations with loved ones during mercury retrograde, but it can really be a powerful time to release the past.  It can be a powerful time to dig deeper into things that are important to you.

Here is how you can use these energies to your advantage over the next few days:

This will be easier for some of you than others.  Those who have taken part in a 21 Day Energy Clearing and Healing Session may have an easier time of it, simply because they are coming into it with clearer energy.  You are only needing to work with your mind not your energy as much.

You are doing this so you can let it go, not so you can blame or stay stuck.  If you remember nothing else, remember that it needs to be acknowledged so you can let it go.  Constantly saying “Well, I don’t think that way, I AM thinking positive”, or “I don’t have any baggage”, or “I am NOT like my parents”, or “I don’t let old programs run my life!”, won’t work.

Every single one of you has subconscious programs and belief systems running.  They are called sub-conscious for a reason, if they were ‘conscious’ you’d know what they were ~ you would be consciously thinking about it.

Those of you who deny having subconscious programs are the ones that will suffer from them the most.  You MUST acknowledge it so you can consciously make changes to your programming.

Most of our lives are lived sub-consciously.  Our subconscious mind helps us to pump our blood, breathe, protect us from harm, do repetitive tasks without thinking about them.  The subconscious plays a pivotal roll in our lives.  We need it.

Sometimes though, our subconscious can sabotage us if the messages that got in there were disempowering messages.  You all have them, I have them.  We can’t be alive in our society today without getting programed with some negative things.

Do you even know what you really believe?  Deep down inside yourself.  You might not.  You can’t always recognize what is SUB-CONSCIOUS, (because it is NOT conscious).

So the ritual you can try over the next few days is to think about what is NOT working in your life.  Not so you can hang onto it, so you can let it go.

Grab a piece of white paper, and a blue pen, and start writing.  Whether you have issues with ‘relationships’, or money or living your dreams, or whatever.  Just start writing.  As you allow your pen to flow, more and more will come to you.  You may find you write a small story about something that happened in grade 2.  Or something you overheard when you were 5 years old.  Or maybe its something more recent.  Where someone ‘wronged’ you.  Where you were told you were wrong.  Where someone told you you weren’t quite good enough, or you shouldn’t talk that way, or be that, or do that.  Don’t hold back.  Give yourself some time to just get it all out.

We ALL have examples in our life where we were told “You can’t…” or “That’s dumb…” or “Nice try, but you simply aren’t good enough”.  Times where we had some feelings that were negated by someone else.

Some of you had hard childhoods where nothing you ever did was right.  Some of you had good childhoods, but maybe money was always tight.  Maybe you had a great childhood, but something happened to you in your 20’s that changed the way you thought of yourself in your life.  These things caused you to create a subconscious program, and it IS running.

These are all the things you want to let flow on paper and acknowledge.

So what do you do once you get it all out there?

Well the LAST thing you want to do is dwell on it.  Simply acknowledge it and see how it might be playing out in your life right now.  Once you recognize the old programs, you can use your conscious thoughts to reprogram yourself.  Look at what you wrote, and then dig deep and find examples of how this story is not true

If you believe that all men/women are jerks, you will attract jerks and if you happen to attract one that isn’t a jerk you will have trust issues and your subconscious programs, which create your ACTIONS, will screw it up.  Try and think of men/women you know that are nice, caring loving people, they are there.  Your thoughts are not true.

If you believe that money is scarce and that no matter what you do you will NEVER get your bills paid off, or get ahead, or be abundant, you will create more of that.  If you do get ahead, your subconscious will take over and create more bills for you, or give you excuses to use your credit cards, or have you giving up on taking inspired actions to make more money ~ because, after all, you have a program that tells you “you will never be abundant”.  Think of ways in which the world IS abundant.  You will find many ways in which it is, clean water, food, heat… the electronics you are reading this on (look around a LOT of people are doing well in this economy ~ same economy you are living in, they just have different thoughts about it ~ and they take different actions).  Your thoughts about lack are not true.

With work, if you have been programmed to believe that all bosses are greedy jerks, you will create more of that too.  You can see your boss as a greedy jerk, or you can realize that YOU are programmed to believe that so you will find it, even if it isn’t there.  There are many ‘bosses’ that are leaders because they want to lead, empower, pay, share with employees.  I am a ‘boss’ and I think I’m super nice.  Its all a matter of perspective.  You thoughts about all bosses are not true.

Health, same thing.  If you believe that your body is meant to fall apart at a certain age it will.  If you constantly find yourself saying “I’m getting too old for this crap”, or “I can’t do what I used to do”, you will age faster because you will take zero inspired action towards getting healthier ~ after all you don’t ‘believe’ subconsciously that its possible, so why try?   There are hundreds of thousands of examples where people have gotten MORE healthy after 50.  Google it.  (I believe I can get healthier after 50, so I’m trying this, if it works for me, I WILL be sharing it with you)  Your negative thoughts about your body and health are not true.

So once you’ve done the writing and realized where your blocks might be coming from, you can burn the written words if you want to release them.  For some of you, you might want to hang onto them so you can go over them later.  Only hang onto them if you are going to make the effort to re-phrase them for yourself ~  if you have the diligence to watch what you are thinking, and practice awareness of where your thoughts are going.

 

This is already so much longer than I first set out to make it!  Oh my goodness, that happens a lot with me.  I sit down to share a little and a lot comes out.

I used to be told that I “talked too much”.  I believed that for 42 years.  I was constantly apologizing for ‘talking too much’.  I thought it was my biggest fault and that my talking made me selfish and uncaring.  Yup, I really thought that.  It wasn’t until I was 42 when I realized that my ability to talk was in actuality one of my biggest gifts.  Now people pay me to talk.

At 42 is when I started blogging on a more regular basis, when I started to put myself out there to do readings for ‘the public’ instead of just friends and family.  All it took was removing that program that told me my gift (of the gab) was a bad thing.

So, whatever it is you have been telling yourself when your conscious mind is otherwise engaged, pay attention, practice awareness, challenge it, rephrase it.  Change the words you are saying to yourself, change your life.

With Love,

Tamara

 

 

 

If you are feeling blocked and think that some energy work will help you, your group, remote (long distance energy work), energy clearing and energy healing session for 2017 starts on December 18, 2017.  This will be the last session for 2017 until March 2018.  You can see more details here>> 21 Day Energy Clearing/Healing Offering ~ Starts December 18, 2017

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Today is a blank slate, as is tomorrow and the next day…

A lot of you think that you are here today because something was “meant to be”.  And sometimes that is true.  However, you are a creator and where you are now is a result of the decisions that you made yesterday and the day before and the day before that.

Today is a blank slate.

What do you want for your today?  What do you want to do?  What do you want to feel?  What decisions would you like to make?

Are you taking some time for yourself?  Or are you giving away your life to something or someone else that doesn’t make you happy?

Yes, we all have a purpose for being here, but are you living that purpose?  How do you even know what your purpose is?  The best way to find your purpose is to stop with the busyness and go within.  Pick a time, a quiet space and calm your mind, see what God and the Universe has to say to you.

Today is a blank slate that you can do anything with.  It is human nature to do the same things today that you did yesterday.  It is spiritual nature to create.  What do you want to create?

Take some time today to go within and ask.  That is all it takes, asking.  You will get your answers.

Once you get your answers, you will need to act though.  Think differently, feel differently, act differently.  Then your life can and will transform into the life you want.

With Love

Tamara

mediation visualization

If you are feeling blocked and think that some energy work will help you, your next group remote energy clearing healing starts on June 4th, you can see more details here. 21 Day Energy Clearing/Healing Offering ~ Starts June 4, 2016

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Don’t be afraid of repeating the past

We are in a very new energy now.  There is no need at all to revisit or be afraid of what came before.  Things are just different now.

We are much more aware of the Law of Attraction, and how we manifest in our lives.  We are no longer ‘fated’ to repeat past behaviours or scenarios for ourselves.  It is much easier to manifest what we want in our lives.

This is due to the earth being in a 5th dimensional reality, and also due to science.  We know more now about how to use energy to our advantage and now that it is backed by quantum science our belief has gone up.

When you believe that you can create your life, your reality, your days, you do so more consciously.  You take responsibility for your decisions and your actions.  You can think and act from a place of knowing you are a creator.

don't fear your past

You don’t need to be fearful of repeating the past

Its okay to let go of things that came before.  You may have had setbacks in relationships, or finances, or with your work or family, but you don’t need to be afraid of repeating them.  Simply being aware of what happened before, and being aware of what you are vibrating, thinking and doing now can keep you from ever having to repeat a destructive pattern.

You are not the same person you were then.  You have re-invented yourself.  Trust yourself.  Listen to your inner guidance.  Does what you are contemplating make you feel happy in your heart?  Or are there red flags going up all over the place?  Are you listening to your intuition, or are you ignoring signs and signals and pushing forward with old familiar patterns anyway?

So what is the difference between being nervous and a red flag?

If you see a sign that something is not right for you, and you try to justify it, then that is a red flag.

Relationship example:  In a relationship if you have been with abusive people before or with someone who has had substance abuse problems and you are now with someone new you have to ask yourself how it feels and be truthful with yourself about what it looks like.

Red flags would be seeing them use substances in an unsafe or destructive way; or them saying something very hurtful, or physically harming you.  These are red flags that should not be ignored.  Even if you have been together for 9 months and they have been okay up to this point, pay attention to the red flag before proceeding.

How to know if its just your own ‘baggage’ in a situation like this.  If you are with someone and they say something that hurts your feelings, but that is not abusive (more just pushes your buttons a bit and brings you back to the past), then that would be your baggage.  Can you talk to them about it?  Is it safe to share your feelings?  (not in a reactive way, but in a responsive way).

If you look at the relationship from the past you will see that there were red flags all over the place but maybe you ignored them.  See the past for what it was, don’t ignore the flags this time, but don’t bring the past into your present situation either.

Work Example:  You decide you want to change careers.  Maybe you changed jobs or started a business in the past and it didn’t go well.

Now you have found a new job that will pay the bills but is a little more esoteric, or creative, or different from what your upbringing taught you.  Or, you have decided to start a business that makes your heart sing.  These things can certainly make you nervous, but they don’t necessarily mean you are repeating a mistake from the past.

Your past and your family might get into your thoughts and tell you that this is not possible.  That it is a pipe dream and you can’t have a job that makes you happy and allows you to live comfortably.  You may have subconsciously believed that last time you tried and your old beliefs contributed to it not working out.

If you are now operating from a new energetic space, where you know you are a creator, this nervousness doesn’t necessarily mean its a red flag.  In the case of starting a business, you may need to keep your day job while you grow your business, but it does not mean that the past will repeat itself.

We are in a new energy and you are now able to operate from a completely new space.  If you find things coming up for you that are similar to the past don’t let it scare you.  Remember, you can do it differently this time.  You don’t need to be afraid of being stuck with the same scenario as last time.

Everything changes all the time, and you have changed and evolved a lot in the past few years.  Trust yourself, trust your intuition, create from a high vibration (not just wishful thinking) and all will work out.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a phone psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Who or What Do You Think is Controlling Your Life?

You have ultimate control over your own life you know.  You don’t really have to be controlled by anything or anyone outside of yourself.

I know that a lot of you reading this will have a list of 10 or more things that are external to yourself that you may say have some control over your life.  But it simply isn’t true.

Do you wish your life was different?  What is it you want?  Love, happiness, money, a career, a business, better health, time, freedom?  You can have it ~ really.

You may need to adjust the way you are speaking to yourself but you can have it.  Everything in your life starts with a thought.  The words you use in your internal dialogue is how you are thinking.

Who told you you can’t have what you want?  Was it your parents, your teachers, your bosses, society, the news?

Think about why you believe you can’t have it.  Is it even true?  Who said it?  Why did they say it?  When you look at them what does their life look like?  Are they happy?

You are living your life.  No one else is.

wishes come true

You may need to do different things to get different results, but you are living your life.  When all the distractions and other people are not around, who are you left with?

Who decides what you are going to do with your time?  Who decides what distractions you are going to let get in your way?  Who decides how you are going to feel?

You are responsible for the choices you make.  If your life doesn’t look the way you want it to, take a good look at the decisions and choices you are making in any given moment.

Practice some awareness of your recurring thoughts; are they helping you or hindering you?

Live in the present moment; are you doing what you want to be doing in that moment?

If you are doing and thinking things that are the opposite of what you want to be doing and thinking, you may need to ask yourself what you are afraid of.

What is stopping you?  Why are you so afraid to live the life you want to live?

Make some decisions.  Think of what you are afraid to do, and then decide to do it.  Once you decide to do it, then the actual doing of it will be easier.

Don’t worry about judgements from others.  Don’t live a life full of regrets for things you did not do.  Make the hard decisions, then take action on them.  Don’t worry about what other people think.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is what you think and how you feel.

Making decisions and taking action will leave you so exhilarated that you won’t have time to worry about what anyone else is thinking anyway.  You will be living the life you want, you will be happy.

You have one life, and you are the one living it, live it wisely.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

 

Grieving is NOT Negative Thinking

Just wanted to share this because I have talked to so many of you lately that are grieving a loss.  Within that grieving comes thoughts of loss and thoughts of how things will never be the same again.  Sometimes the thoughts are less than pleasant, and sometimes the thought process involves anger or resentment or any other number of ‘negative’ emotions.

Some of you have said to me “I know I shouldn’t be thinking negatively”.  The thing is, you are a human being and if you are going through a grieving process, you will naturally have some negative thoughts.

These negative thoughts are a part of your process and you need to allow them to flow.

If you have lost someone or something it is okay to be mad.  Be mad as hell if you want.  You don’t want to hold it all inside and make yourself sick, or pretend that you are not sad or mad or upset or whatever.  That will just help turn it into unresolved baggage that you might not even know is there because you’ve buried it so deeply.   The key being flow ~ NOT fester.

Go with the flow

Allow yourself some time to go through your grieving process.  Don’t be afraid of having anger, sadness or any other negative feeling ~ it needs to get out!

If you need to have a good cry, have a good cry, its okay.  If you need to feel sad, or spew some negativity, then do that.  Do it with the intention of letting it out and letting it go though.  There is nothing negative about that.

Acknowledging those feelings is important, some things simply cannot be sugar coated.

Over time it will be important to move forward, to release, forgive, let go; without that, you risk causing yourself to get into a depression.  But be patient with the process.  Do not be afraid of your feelings.

If you have a breakdown and cry and cry and cry, there will be a point where your crying begins to subside, you will find yourself taking some deeper breaths ~ it is at this point where you can decide that it is okay to quit crying for today.  You might even allow yourself to fall asleep or to imagine some more positive things in your life.

Please be patient with yourself if you are grieving a loss, let the pain flow through and out of you and your energy field.  During active grieving is not the time to worry about whether or not you are ‘talking negatively’.  It is not negative thinking it is a process of releasing a loss.

Grieving doesn’t last forever, but it is often a necessary process for us humans to go through.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

Why do we always have to push so much?

The Art of Relaxing

Love

Sometimes we simply need to listen to our bodies and rest.  How many of you reading this have pushed yourself when you were very tired or sick and got sicker?

We need to learn to listen to our bodies instead of running them ragged.  This is the only body you have, you need to love and care for it.  And yes, you need to love and care for it as much as you love and care for other people’s, including your kids ~ who would they have if your body wasn’t there?

How often do you find yourself doing things because you think you should?  Better question….  How often do you find yourself doing something because you want to?

How often do you have a nap or go to bed early because you want to?

Or skip cleaning the house for a couple of days because you have better things to do?

Or take some time away from work to simply have a couple days relaxing and doing nothing?

How often do you take time out to read a book?

I realize we have responsibilities and families and jobs etc. but really, its as if we have forgotten that its okay to have some downtime.  Always so busy.

I know a few people who are sick right now.  I was sick myself a short while ago.

Very few people rest when they are sick these days.  Their colds (or flu), drag on for what seems like an eternity, but they don’t let themselves rest.  I do understand that work does come first for many (don’t work, don’t get paid and all), but do you really need to vacuum the house?  Bake cookies for the bake sale until midnight instead of picking them up at the store?  Say yes to every favour someone asks for?  Deny your body the short nap it is yearning for?

How about you let yourself feel better.  Try and take some time for you.  You owe it to yourself  to be rested and healthy and to feel good.

Hoping you are all healthy this October 1st.

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic phone reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Couple More “Best Of” posts from October 2011

Time to revisit some posts that I wrote right around this time of year, but 4 years ago.  So much still applies.  We are all at different stages of our paths and I know these are still helpful posts even after all this time.

make your own path

Don’t Take it Personally

Most of us have a tendency to take life way too personally.  It doesn’t matter what the situation is.

If you want to feel better, you need to expand your perspective to include other things and people.  If you walk around thinking that everything that goes on around you, is always directly related to how someone feels about you, you can easily lose your peace of mind.

Next time you encounter something or someone that irks you try and look at it differently. Use this as just a simple way to assist you in not taking things personally, and playing with changing your perspective.  Click here to read the rest of this post.

 

What is Waiting for you? Can you let go of the Old?

Over the past few years a lot of you have been working on letting things go. A lot of you haven’t. There are so many who are hanging on tightly to what they have always known. Those of you who are doing this are getting more and more uncomfortable. It seems like no matter what you do, things aren’t working out.

As we come up to 11/11/11, those of you that are Spiritually ready for movement, but not yet willing to give things up on your own, are having things ripped away from you, and this is very uncomfortable indeed.  Click here to read the rest of this post.

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a phone psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

Don’t Be Afraid of the New ~ Give Yourself a Chance, we have the perfect energy for this right now

We’ve got some awesome energy right now.  So much new stuff ~ you’ve got this, you can do it.  You might be feeling a little nervous right now wondering what is going on.

You’ve got your ideas and you have been planning to do something a little out of your comfort zone, but you feel stalled!

Its like “OMG, I don’t think I can do this, I’ve never done this before, what if I totally suck at it!”

That is the energy you are dealing with right now.  Here is the thing, you need to do it anyway.  You will do well, or you won’t.  It doesn’t matter in the least.  The energy right now says “try it”.  Really, you will probably end up with things going well for you and you may surprise yourself with what you are capable of.

give to yourself

But if you don’t do well, then so what?  At least you will know.  You have to try it.  You’ve been waiting so long because you’ve been afraid to fail.  How about you give it a shot and give yourself a chance to succeed.  It will change your whole life.

You will either wind up knowing you can do it, or knowing you can’t (chances are you can if you have been thinking about it this long).  You will find that either way your energy is freer, happier and more able to propel you forward to where you want to be.

It will never be a waste of time either.  What is a waste of time is thinking and wondering for a really long time if you can or not.  Never taking the step, never taking the chance.

So, the message of the day, and its a big one ~ Just go for it.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Your words and thoughts have physical power – Will Smith

Found this video of Will Smith talking about how your thoughts and words have physical power.  Its a montage of different clips where he talks about his success.  Interesting perspective on talent, skill, work ethic and making other peoples lives better.

Think its pretty interesting and inspiring so wanted to share it with you.

will smith

Your words and thoughts have physical power – Will Smith

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

Motivation; Reward or Self Sabotage?

Do you set goals?  Do you ever reach them?  How often do you “REWARD” yourself?

If you don’t set goals, why not?  Are you afraid you won’t reach them anyway so why bother?  If that’s the case you probably have a hard time getting what you want out of life.  If you cannot imagine having it, it is very hard to manifest it for yourself.

If you set goals and never seem to reach them have you ever wondered why?  You start out all gung-ho and things seem to be going okay, but the end result seems to constantly elude you.  Here are some things to think about.

Are you Motivated?

When you decide you want something, you absolutely must be motivated to get what you want.  If you are doing it for someone else, or because you think its something you should do, you will find any motivation you had at the beginning waning pretty quickly.

momentum of goals

Are you rewarding yourself too much?

This is the most common thing I see in my clients that are not getting what they want out of life.  Yes, we need a reward or a rest once in a while, absolutely.  But the way some of you think about reward seems to be a bit skewed.

If you aren’t reaching your goals, ask yourself “Am I rewarding myself or am I sabotaging myself?”

A reward come at the end of a job well done.  See that word in there ~ the END of a job well done.  Not 15 times in the middle of a job (goal), at the end.  If you put in an effort for a short time, and then say “phew, that was hard, but I feel good, I think I’ll take a reward” you will never reach your goals.

The reason you won’t reach your goals is because with your self sabotage you will be constantly setting yourself back, the results you see will be mediocre at best, and you will not have the staying power to get to the end of your goal.

This pretty much applies to any subject, doesn’t really matter what it is.

You are working at paying off your credit card bills and loans and you are doing really well, you are beginning to see some results.  Its only been a couple or few months but…

You “reward” yourself by buying something ~ on your credit card.

My son is working really hard to get an online class completed so he can go to see a friend in Ontario for a couple weeks this summer.  He is working really hard at it and says he really wants to go but the class has to be completed first. 

His tendency is to ‘reward’ himself by taking two days off in a row to do nothing and he loses momentum on the class.  It actually slows him down because he has to reread a bunch of stuff.  If he took shorter breaks he’d get a lot more done. (I’m sharing tips with him but letting him learn by experience on how he wants to do this, it will serve him well into the future).

You decide you want to lose weight.  You are doing really well.  You lose 7 pounds.

You eat a whole pizza in one night and weigh 5 pounds more in the morning and lose motivation.

In all these scenarios’ you are just shooting yourself in the foot.  You are probably someone that says “this is taking too long”, or “I need to see some reward or its not worth even trying”, or something like that, you probably have a hard time losing weight, paying bills or getting goals set and reached.

You need to change your mindset.  Rewards are good.  Too much of a sense of entitlement, or too many rewards are just self sabotage.  You don’t need to reward yourself constantly, you are not two.  Instant gratification won’t get you what you want.  Having the staying power to set a goal, work towards it ~ unfaltering, is what is going to get you there.

If you must have a reward, take one, but take something other than something that is going to sabotage you.

If you are trying to pay down bills, don’t give yourself a financial reward on credit ~ give yourself a day off to do nothing, or hang out with friends or go to the beach instead.

If you are trying to lose weight don’t eat a whole pizza once a week ~ have one slice every 3 weeks.

If you are trying to complete a project, stop giving yourself excuses not to work on it.  We all have excuses.  Instead of excuses, maybe just get up and take a walk around the block, or play a game or go for a swim, wash dishes, mow the lawn, shovel snow, or something to decompress, then get back to it.

It really is up to you if you reach your goals or not.  Watch your self talk and ask yourself if the big reward of reaching your goals is more important than all the little unimportant things along the way.

 

 

 

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