Just Who Are You Letting Off the Hook?

So you have someone in your life that has been a jerk to you.  Maybe they owe you money, or maybe they have done something really mean to you, or done or said something that hurt your feelings, or left you in the lurch in some way.

If you were to make a choice to let this go, who exactly would you be letting off the hook?

Well, yourself of course.

It is not your job to police everyone else around you.  You cannot make other people do what you want them to do no matter how hard you try or what manipulative effort you put forth.  They will only do what they want to do.

Most people that have done what you think they have done don’t care.  Think about this.  You have been sitting and worrying and fuming and making yourself sick, and the object of your anger/frustration/upset is going on with their life as if nothing is wrong!!!  How dare they?!?

Think about the person.  If they are on drugs, on booze, have no morals, or are narcissists or psychopaths, or any other number of things ~ they don’t care.  They don’t feel like you do, they don’t process information or feelings the way you do, they simply get on with their lives.  AND YOU DON’T.

When are you going to let yourself off the hook for their bad behaviour?

I know first hand how much it sucks when someone owes you money and they don’t pay you back, or when someone you trusted and relied on did something that ripped your heart out.  Been there, done that ~ a lot.

No amount of your suffering or upset is going to change anything ~ EVER.

The only thing that will give you a chance of you feeling better is to let it go.  You aren’t punishing them by hanging on, you are punishing yourself.

I’m not even going to lie and say its easy all the time (although a lot of times once you make the decision it is).  I will say that once you let it go, let yourself off the hook and move on, you are pretty much guaranteed to feel better.

Other people are going to do what they are going to do.  You need to do what you need to do to feel as good as you can in any given moment and if that means letting it go and forgetting it and moving on, then that just might be what you need to do.

forgive and forget

Forgive or Forget?

A lot of people will tell you, “I can forgive, but I can never forget”.  If you can’t forget, then you haven’t forgiven.  That really is it in a nutshell.

Some people might not deserve your forgiveness, but you do.

I am not saying that if someone you are around has cheated you that you forgive and forget and trust them completely again if they have not changed their behaviours, attitude and energy.  There is something to be said for remembering their energetic footprint and, if its still the same, then maybe they don’t really deserve for you to forgive them.  If this is the case, it is decision time for you as far as whether or not you still want them around.  Maybe its best to just let them go and move on with your life in a separate direction.  You will however need to work on your own energy so you don’t bring a similar situation into your life in the future ~ that’s where the ‘forgetting’ comes in.

Here’s a couple examples:

Money

Someone takes money from you and doesn’t give it back.  You can hang on to lousy energy and feel horrible about it forever, constantly thinking about it, never letting it go.  You may say you have forgiven them, but if you refuse to forget about it, then you are still on your own self-imposed “hook”.

You’d need to basically let the money go to truly have forgiven and forgotten.  You may want to NEVER give them money again (or if they stole it you may want to never let them alone with your wallet again), but you don’t have to hang onto that resentment energy.

If the person is that horribly unreliable, it would be best to just let them go anyway.  Let them be who they need to be and you move on and be who you need to be.  You don’t really ever need to think of them again after that if you don’t want to.

Relationships

You have a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, and they cheated on you.  You decided that you would continue a relationship with them after that.

That is a personal choice and would be different for everyone ~ no judgements from me, but here’s the energy of it.

A lot of people in this situation would say “I can forgive him/her, but I will never forget”.  Here is what you get for yourself by doing this.  You get a life of mistrust, memories coming back to haunt you, tension in a relationship, and being in a situation where you will never be truly open and loving again.

If your spouse cheated, they did it for a reason.  It was either a one-off situation because you were having problems, or they have one of the issues I wrote about above (substance abuse, narcissism etc.).

If they have huge issues, they do not deserve your trust.  That’s it period.  You can forgive and forget for yourself and move on, but there is zero point in forgiving and moving forward with someone like that ~ because you won’t ever be able to truly forget, it will replay over and over for you forever.  Because the cheater in question has changed nothing.

Only you can change yourself.  Only you can let yourself off the hook.  Only you can let things go.

Its not a good thing to hang onto anger and resentment and if you keep yourself in the presence of someone who you intuitively know is going to screw you over again then you are doing yourself a disservice.

You are a creator, you create with your thoughts and energy.  Wouldn’t you like to be able to finally move on?  To start from this moment and look towards what you want rather than to what is wrong in the past?

The sooner you let them go, the sooner you can forget about it.  Your life will be so much better for it that you won’t even have the time or energy to look back at ‘what was’.

I am NOT talking about burying your emotions either.  I am saying let it go.  You cannot control other people and if they have treated you badly it says more about them than it does about you.

If you feel like you kind of want to let go, but don’t feel like you are quite there yet, then pray and affirm:  “Help me be willing to let this go“.  You will get there.

 

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.

 

Some Bad Things Simply DON’T Need to Happen ~ Listen to Your Guides

I was talking to a friend today, and his Guides and his own higher self and intuition have been trying really hard to tell him something and he’s not been listening.  The messages are getting louder and louder for him, but he just wasn’t getting it.

Where you need to be

I think he gets it now that we have had a conversation about it.  Here is the “story”:

He works a lot from his truck and has a ‘hands free’ phone on his dashboard.  I have driven with him quite a few times, and although he is 99% hands-free, I can’t say the same thing for his eyes.

He doesn’t realize it but there are times when his eyes are away from the road for way too many seconds. It doesn’t seem very long to him because he’s distracted, but to me as a passenger it seems like an eternity.   I’ve mentioned this to him a few times.  I generally either close my eyes when he’s driving, or watch the road like a hawk.  He is a good driver and has excellent peripheral vision, but things can happen in the blink of an eye when you are driving.

I don’t nag, but I mention it often when we are on the road.  I have even taken his phone and read the text messages or call display to him, rather than let him look while I’m a passenger in his truck.  Sometimes he even gets annoyed with me for mentioning it, (but I do anyway).

A few days ago, he was saying that maybe he’d take the phone off the dashboard, its been ringing a lot and he’s been getting lots of texts and he’s noticing a difference in the attention its taking from his driving.

Then yesterday morning there was a bad 4 car accident on a road very close to his house, and another large accident about 20 minutes down the highway.  We were talking about it and how distracted some drivers are these days.

Well, he called me this morning and he saw a horrific accident where a woman in a mini-van hit two men that were just leaving a gas station with coffees.  The front of her van was bashed right in and he said “She was driving really fast to do that much damage to her vehicle, she was probably looking at her phone”.  He told me that it was very emotional to see and that he was nearly in tears because of the devastation he witnessed.

It is NOT a coincidence either that the city in which he saw the accident was a place he had been intending to go to all week.  He was ‘supposed’ to go on Tuesday, but things didn’t work out and he didn’t make it.  And ditto for Wednesday and Thursday.  Things just kept coming up to prevent him from being there.  He did manage to get there today and that is when he saw the accident.

When I was talking to him about it, I told him:  “Your guides (and intuition), sure have been giving you lots of messages.  They are getting more and more extreme.  When are you going to listen?  There is no reason for you to need to be in (or cause) an accident, what is it going to take for you to ‘get the message’? ”

That is how your intuition and higher guidance works.  How often in your life have you had signs ahead of time and then when something happens you say “I was just thinking of that” or “I knew I should (or shouldn’t), have done that”?

That is your guidance!  You need to learn how to listen to it and trust it.  In the case of my friend, it started with me mentioning it, then one accident, then another accident, then seeing something on the news ~ still he wasn’t listening.  Now he has seen a traumatic event that he can never un-see and he will never forget.

It will be up to him at this point if he actually takes the messages he’s being given (over and over and with more intensity each time) and does something about it.  HIS CHOICE.  If he chooses not to take heed of what he’s been shown, then chances are he will be in for some pretty big discomfort at some point (probably sooner rather than later based on the frequency of the messages and how close together they are coming now).

I know him well, and suspect he will listen now.  And that will most likely avoid the ‘future disaster’ that his ‘peeps’ are showing him.

Even if you have a psychic reading it will be like that.  Our futures are possibilities, and with some foresight and correct actions we can create a smoother path for ourselves.

What has your intuition been trying to tell you lately?  Are you listening?

 

 

If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.