How to stay in your Vortex when around someone who is not

needy ones

Came across this video and had two clients this week that I shared it with that needed it, so I thought I would share it with you all as well.

We are all a part of the same Source Energy and often go through similar things at similar times.


Hoping you find it helpful.



Dealing with a breakup

I know there are a lot of you that have already gone through a breakup, or are going through one right now.

Most Psychic's are Empaths


I am sharing this video of Esther Hicks channeling Abraham with you in the hope it will help you on your path and maybe even provide a little bit of comfort.



Why do you want someone that doesn’t want you?

What My Mom Taught Me About Relationships

Why would you want to be with someone who does not want you?

You want a relationship so badly yet you go after someone who doesn’t want to be with you.

Even if you manage to “catch ” them do you really believe that they will make you happy?

There are 7 billion people on this planet – do not settle for someone who is unable to fully BE with you.

It makes no sense.

People are not possessions.  A relationship is not something you win.  A relationship is something you share.  A relationship is a relationship between TWO people.  It is not one person chasing another.  It is not one person feeling okay and the other feeling badly.  It is not one person manipulating and one being manipulated.  That is not healthy ~ and it is NOT a loving relationship.

Even if you do manage to “catch” them and pin them down, you end up being afraid they will leave, or jealous of their friendships.  That is no way to live.

Love Yourself

I so often get the question, “how can I get them back”; or even “what are they thinking?”

If they are not with you the answer is rarely going to be one you want to hear.  If they were thinking of you and pining for you and wanting to be with you, they would be with you.  People do not stay away from people that they want to be with.

You ask because “what if we are supposed to be together”?   If you were supposed to be you would be.

You are a perfect child of God.  You don’t need anyone to complete you.  And you certainly don’t deserve to have to be chasing someone who doesn’t want to be with you.

Stop chasing dreams of what you ‘think’ things might be like with them.  Things are NOT LIKE THAT with them.  Your upset and your tears prove that.  You deserve BETTER.  Stop glorifying who they are or what they represent to you.  Snap out of it.  It is your thoughts of ‘what could be’ that are upsetting you even more than the thoughts of ‘what is’.  “What is”, seriously sucks.

They may have left or never showed up, or just made other choices, but it is YOU that is upsetting yourself.  If they are not in your life and are living their own life, then it is up to you to do the same.  If you DECIDE not to do the same, then it is YOU, not THEM that is hurting you.  They hurt you once, you are hurting you over and over again.



If you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.


2015 is a Power(ful) Year

It is time to take your power back.  2014 was a pretty tough year for most people.  I’ve blogged a lot over the past few years about letting go, and it’s as if 2014 was the year for anything we either didn’t willingly let go of, or that we didn’t know needed to be let go of, went.  And things that needed to change, changed.  Whether we felt ready or not.

For some it was relationships, for others it was jobs, homes or ‘stuff’.  Even those of you who are pretty good at being aware, letting go and moving along in life had adjustments to make.  You may have all the same things in your life, but you may have had to let go of some thoughts, ideas or habits.

The best most comfortable way to get through this year is to look forward.  Stop looking back.  What was, was.  Everything you have experienced in your life brought you to this point.  Look at it, bless it, and release it.  Its time to step forward into your power.  If you look closely (through meditation and/or practicing awareness of your thoughts), you will see that you created this for yourself.  It is an opportunity, not a loss.

2015 Power Year

How to Start Over


There were many of you that were unhappy in your relationship.  You kept dreaming of what it would be like if your spouse (or BF/GF), would just change,  how happy you would be.  The relationship was okay, but there were issues and you kept wishing for something just ‘different’.

Well, here is your chance.  Your relationship could not be what you wanted it to be.  The person you were with was not the person you wanted them to be.  They could not be the person that you wanted them to be.

In losing that relationship, it has freed you up to get the relationship that you want.  Of course it hurts.  Allow yourself to mourn the loss.  But look forward, not back.  Don’t look back and glamourize what the relationship looked like (if it were perfect for you it would not have ended).  Look forward.  If you truly want a relationship, then look at yourself and who you are.  Take back your power, become the ‘complete’ you and then find someone to share with.  NO ONE WILL EVER COMPLETE YOU — ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT.  And you must do that first before you go looking for another relationship.


If you lost your job, you created that in some way too.  If you can take complete responsibility for where you are, you take back your power.  Try not to get caught in feeling sorry for yourself.  There are things you can do.  They might not be exactly what you imagined, but your attitude will determine where you go from here.

Don’t glamorize your past job.  If it was perfect for you in all ways, you would still have it.  While you are taking care of what needs to be taken care of (financially), you need to take steps every day towards what you want for your dream job.  You cannot rush it, and you cannot sit on your butt and do nothing, it won’t work.  Do what you can do, no matter how small, and keep looking forward and thinking of what you want.  Yes, you will need to take care of your responsibilities as best as you can.  You may have to work long hours and you may have to spend your evenings studying or working towards your dream job instead of watching TV, but you can do it.

Financial Stresses

If you are stressed about money, then go out and make some.  Make enough to get you by, you ALL have something you can offer someone.  Cut back on things you pay for, and sell what you don’t need or aren’t using.  Worrying about money while using your credit cards or getting more credit won’t help.

You may need to get a temporary second job, or sell stuff, but you all have something you can do.  Whether its house cleaning, or yard cleaning, or any other skill you have, USE IT.  When you are under financial stress, nothing LEGAL should be off limits.  If you cannot pay people that you owe, then no amount to earn is too little.  I am NOT saying to undercut your rate.  I am saying that if you are stressed about money and there is an opportunity for you to work at a minimum wage job (instead of getting $25/hour, or doing nothing at $0/hour), then do it.

I am saying that if you have something to sell, it is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it.  Sometimes there is no point to holding out for more.  You don’t need to ‘give’ things away, but if it is something you have not used in a long time, then sell it.  Between the money that you get, and the clutter that you clear out, you will be better off.

Most of all Don’t Look Back

Everything before, was before.  You only have now.  You are in a powerful time.  Take advantage of your power, the power of 2015, and your ability to create your future and start moving into the life you want.

If you are not sure which direction to go in or what to do next, or what needs to be healed for you, I can help you with a psychic reading.

Help from a Position of Strength

We are all one, and our energy sometimes shifts collectively.  This will create a ‘trend’ that I will see in my clients, and in my family, friends and myself as well.  It doesn’t happen collectively all the time, but it seems to be happening around this subject at the moment.

I had the opportunity to do some work with Cassandra at Devine You this afternoon, and the subject of helping others by helping yourself first ~ without rescuing them ~  came up for me as well.  I think it is worth sharing the words of Abraham at this point in time, and I hope it assists those of you that may need it.

These are not my words, but something that came up on my Facebook News Feed today posted by Abraham-Hicks.  (There are no accidents, its not coincidental that Esther Hicks also felt drawn to share these words today).

and only they can help themselves, let them...

and only they can help themselves, let them…

“When you are feeling the discomfort from seeing other people in a lackful or needy situation, and you decide to help them from your place of discomfort, no lasting value ever occurs, for two important reasons: first, you are not in alignment with the Energy of your Source, and so you have no real value to give; and second, your attention to their need only amplifies their need.

Of course, it is a wonderful thing to help others, but you must do it from your position of strength and alignment, which means you must be in alignment with their success as you offer assistance, and not in alignment with their problem.

When your awareness of their situation makes you uncomfortable and you offer help to make them feel better and to make yourself feel better, you are not in the Vortex and you are not helping. When you feel an inspired eagerness to offer something because you want to participate in their happy, successful process, your attention to their success harmonizes with the point of view of your Source; and the infinite resources of the Universe are at your disposal. And that does help”. – Abraham

(Excerpted from “Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditation CD)

Love, Tamara

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Are you stuck in your comfort zone?  Are you bored as hell in your life?  Do you wake up some mornings and wonder what this is all for?  Do you contemplate running away from home to some place more fun?  If so, you are probably stuck in your comfort zone.

I was there.  I think its a phenomenon with us humans sometimes (in my case it was a mom thing).  We have families to take care of, we don’t dare step out of our comfort zones, that would require our families to step out of their comfort zones.  And we can’t do that!  We are supposed to be there for our families!

Comfort Zone Meme

I get it.  I am still here in my comfortable place ~ not as much as I was before my son turned 14 ~ but still more “comfortable” than I was in my 20’s when I figured ‘anything goes’ (almost).  I remember in 2009 I got asked to go to LA for an audition for a new “Medium” TV show.  I was firmly entrenched in my comfort zone of being mom (and wife, and with my work at home).  And that is exactly where I needed to be at that time.  I am NOT slagging motherhood or fatherhood.  I would not have felt comfortable leaving my family for any extended length of time, they DID need me in 2009.

However, now its different.  My family still needs me, but not as much as before.  It is time for me to stretch my wings a little bit.  I highly doubt I would move out of country and leave my family behind, but if I got invited to go away for a while, I probably could at this stage of our lives.

I refuse to let my ‘comfort zone’ become ‘the rest of my life’,  and you should too.  There are many of us moms and dads that give up so much of ourselves to raise our families ~ and that is good.  The problem occurs when our kids don’t need us so much anymore, and we stay where we have been for the last 18 (or more) years.

That’s sometimes why marriages break up after 20 years or so.  Because the comfort zone can be so boring.  We aren’t meant to be born, go to work, have a family, pay bills, be bored out of our minds and then die.  We are supposed to have a life in there somewhere!

In my case, it was raising a family that got me into my comfort zone ~ and it has been perfect!  That’s exactly what we all needed at the time.  For some of you, you are stuck in a comfort zone because of fear of judgement, or because you think you are different and can’t show your real self, or because you think you can’t afford something different for yourself.

You will never be able to live the life of your dreams from within your comfort zone.  Change is uncomfortable, different is uncomfortable, even wonderful, fantastic, exciting, exhilarating and new are uncomfortable.

What are you going to do to get out of your comfort zone?



Dare to Be Different

If you are reading this, you are most likely at least a little bit different than certain segments of the population.  You are different than people who don’t believe, or are afraid of alternate dimensions for one.

You might be different than your parents, your religion, your boss, your coworkers, and maybe even different than your neighbours.  You could probably write an almost endless list of all the people that are different than you.  The other ‘soccer moms’, the teachers that teach your kids, the guy you bumped into with your cart while you were at the grocery store, the woman who delivers your mail.

I would like you to consider something though…



If you didn’t Dare to Be Different, would you even know that you are?

We are kind of programmed from a young age to fit in.  Don’t make waves, be like everyone else.  All you need to do is look at the stress levels of people who are trying to be something they aren’t to find proof of this.  Think of the kids in school that are more artistic or energetic than ‘normal’.  They often just get called ‘problem child’ and get put on drugs.

If we weren’t programmed to “keep up with the Joneses” there would be a lot less debt.  If women weren’t programmed to be ‘the same’ as other women they would worry less about their weight and their make-up, and we’d have a lot less ‘duck faces’ out there.  (I’m not saying anything negative here about women’s looks so don’t even go there with me).

So, once again, I ask … How would you even know if you are different, if you don’t dare to share it!

dare different

I just bet, that if you dared to be different, you would find that all of a sudden, you would be surrounded by people just like you!!!

The world is FULL of people that are afraid to “Dare to Be Different”.  Wouldn’t it be nice if your neighbour all of a sudden decided to be “Different”, and after seeing it and talking to them you found out that their “different” was the SAME as yours!!!

We would have less lonely people and friendship communities everywhere!  No one would need to feel left out, because by sharing their different, they would show someone else that they weren’t alone, and had the same “different”!



No, I will not work for Free, and Neither Should You

This post is for all of you who are self-employed and may have friends or colleagues asking you to work for free.  It is also for those of you who think that I may want to work for free.  It happens.

Do not work for free

I actually have people who email me when they have an opportunity or a challenge in their life and they want to run it by me to get a feeling for the energy of the situation or the people involved.  AND THEY PAY ME ACCORDINGLY.

Their emails are something like this:  “I have this going on…. (and they tell me about the situation), then they will say, thank you, I appreciate your time, let me know what I owe you, AND THEY PAY ME.  (Sometimes I just reply via email and sometimes they would prefer to talk on the phone ~ I have no preference, I leave it up to them).  I connect for them and their situation, and I answer their specific question/issue.

They have usually had a reading with me and we have established a relationship.  They trust me and they respect my insights.  They also respect me as a person and a human that has a mortgage and a business and who likes to have heat and light and food.  They respect my time.  They know I am busy and that I do a lot of appointments and I talk to a lot of people, and that these people pay me for my time.

I came across this FANTASTIC post that I would LOVE to share with you.  It is for all of you that are self-employed, and it is especially for those of you that think professionals have not invested any time and money in themselves, and that they do not have any bills, or need to eat.

Paid for work

The following article was written by Adrienne Graham and posted on Forbes, March 28, 2011.  I am sharing it because I couldn’t possibly say this any better myself…

No, You Can’t Pick My Brain. It Costs Too Much

I love giving advice. I write blogs, articles and a newsletter. I host a radio show. I tweet, Facebook and share nuggets of advice almost daily. So what is it in all of that, that would make anyone think they can still have the right to “pick my brain”?

I can’t tell you how flattering it is to be approached by representatives from major companies seeking my wisdom and advice. It shows they are listening, and like what I have to say.

But often I find the road ends when they are just on a fact finding mission. That mission is to pick my brain to gather as much free intel and knowledge they need to make their jobs easier.

Not gonna happen, sorry. My brain costs money to maintain. There’s training, classes to attend, reading (I have to buy books), gaining certifications, costs of memberships so I can network, attending conferences and mastering my skills that all cost me money.


You will need to click through this link to read the rest of this article on “Forbes” because I don’t steal or recycle content from other people, but I will share it if I think it is good.

You Are Being Called to Take Action in 2015

Last year was a tough year for sure.  Everyone had some sort of big challenge.  Whether it was financial, work or relationships, our Souls are being prepared for more.

In the last 4 months of 2014 many relationships ended for people ~ this is due to the energy of the time.  Romantic relationships that did not support the growth of both souls no longer exist for many of you.  If have other things to do on this earth and your personal relationships don’t support it, they won’t stay.  This can be very difficult, but if you can find the strength to hold onto the thought that you are now free to move in another direction, it may help.  Looking forward always seems to give more comfort than looking back.

(Some people have decided to stay stuck in uncomfortable relationships, and those will just get harder and harder to live with, but that is another post).

Your romantic relationships for sure underwent changes, but there were also changes with work or finances or family, or somewhere in your life.


2015 is a Year for Dreaming Big and Taking Action 

In 2014 as we were undergoing some of the changes I talked about above, we were also coming up with ideas.  Ideas of what something new might look or feel like.  For sure some of what we imagine is scary – it is different.  For some of you it is VERY different.

There are very few souls on this planet that did not feel the need for change: or at least start to wonder what it would look like if something were different.

Please know though that you are supported through this change.  We are all on this planet at this time for a reason.  2015 is yet another new energetic beginning for us on this planet.  We had to get rid of and cleanse all the places in our lives that weren’t working, or that were holding us back from who we want to be.

Sometimes this cleansing can feel so hard…if you need to meditate or pray yourself though it, then do so.  You may need to ask your Angels, God, or Higher Self to take over and help you out with your emotions at times, this is okay.  The important thing is to be willing to feel differently.

I love Zig Ziglar, so inspiring

I love Zig Ziglar, so inspiring

3 Steps You Can Take to Get Off To a Great Start in 2015

1.  Think of all the things that you dreamed of, fantasized about, or even just considered doing, in 2014.  There will be something.

2.  Do something towards your dream.  It doesn’t even really matter what it is.  If you are thinking of going into business, or getting a new job, then a good first step would be actually researching the new space you want to be in.

3.  Look forward, not back.  As I said before, 2014 was challenging.  No sense in re-hashing all that.  We are in a NEW energy here on earth.  You do not need to create more this year of what you had last year ~ and you won’t ~ not if you keep looking where you are going, instead of where you have been.

This year is the year to take all those ideas from last year to a new level.  Scary sometimes yes; exciting, absolutely.  Required if you want growth? Yes.

Not every new thing you try out this year will work out or look exactly like you expect it to, but by taking action you will feel more empowered and one thing will lead into another…

Is My Relationship Healthy?

Relationships, ask for what you want/need, then LET IT GO

A relationship is not meant to ‘complete you’. That’s a bunch of hooey. If you are not already complete there’s not a soul on the planet that will be able to help you through a romantic relationship.

When two people are in a HEALTHY relationship, they WANT the other person to be happy. They don’t want the other person to be jealous, insecure, wondering…

When you are in a healthy relationship you can ask for what you want in a respectable way, knowing your partner will do his/her best for you. You will have no need whatsoever to ‘demand’ that your needs be met.

If you are a woman, and you are reasonably secure in your own self, and you are dating a man that doesn’t seem to care how you feel, just leave. Save yourself the grief of having your self-esteem run through the mud and having baggage to ‘get over’ later. If he loves you, he will want you to be happy. PERIOD. Don’t make demands, they don’t work anyway. Make your decisions based on his actions, and how you feel (if you aren’t happy, or cry once a week about how you have been treated, that’s a big indicator he’s not ‘the one’).

For women, its important that if you ask a man for something, knowing that he loves you and that he will do it if/when he can, then he will. There is no sense in asking him for something that no man could do. Most guys aren’t going to be happy hanging out with your girlfriends shopping, let him be a man.

Its also important for women to recognize when a man is trying and to acknowledge that. Don’t ask him for something and when he tries, tell him he’s done it wrong. No one wants to be chastised for not doing things the way you would do them. If his heart is in the right place, let him do it his way.

You wonder why your man quit trying to please you when he used to really try hard..? there are three main reasons.
1. You are unpleasable – your way or the highway
2. You aren’t happy. In a good relationship, he wants you to be happy. If he tries, and you aren’t happy he will quit trying.
3. He doesn’t care.



For the men out there. If you are with a woman who consistently wants your nuts on a platter, quit trying. There are just some women who act like prima donnas and are not worth it. If you NEVER do anything right, or if the more you do the more demands that you are met with, maybe she is just unpleasable. This does not mean that any woman asking for help is demanding or unpleasable, its when no matter what you do it is never appreciated and never enough, you rarely hear ‘thank you’. I’m talking more about the woman who puts you down at every turn, that wants more and more and more, and is never happy, the one that acts like the world (and you) owes her something. That you need to be something you aren’t to please her. Sometimes these women have been ‘wronged’ and they just won’t let any man be a man.

“Buy me this, take me here. You can’t go on that fishing trip you’ve been planning for months, Mary Sue is having a baby shower!” This is unreasonable and is a demand, not a request.
(If she’s upset about you being in the bar with your ‘buds’ every weekend, see #3 above – you likely aren’t ready to be in a relationship with her).



If you are in an on and off relationship, chances are it’s meant to be “off”. Rarely in an off and on relationship does one person say, “Look, I’m going through something and I love and respect you, will you please support me in my growth and getting in touch with my soul; once I do that, I may be ready for more”.

Nope, with off and on, it’s usually someone feeling smothered, or someone that likes you or is drawn to you, but that knows they do not want what you want out of life. The separations are usually caused by some form of drama and/or control issue. They are pretty sure that this is not the relationship for them, they just happen to be drawn to you for some reason. IF THEY ARE RUNNING AWAY IT IS NOT THE RELATIONSHIP FOR THEM. If it is not the relationship for them, it is not the relationship for you. There is not one “healthy” person on the planet runs away from someone that they feel is the one – EVER – PERIOD. Even if you did get back together, have a baby, get married, cohabitate, whatever… it will not be sustainable. We can only pretend for so many years before it takes a toll.


Relationships are a two way street. In a healthy relationship both parties realize this. In a healthy one we try to make our partner more comfortable. Not by changing “who we are”. “Who we are” is who they fell for — No, by being considerate and sometimes going the extra mile just because you love them.

If it is healthy, then both parties will do what it takes to keep the flow. If not, let it go, stop wasting what is supposed to be a happy life on being unhappy.