When Mediumship Readings Don’t Work

I just wanted to write a bit of a blog post about why you might not end up with the clearest of messages from Spirit when you receive a reading.  (When I do “medium” readings and no one comes through I do stop the reading and suggest we try another time ~ I don’t try to make something happen that clearly isn’t ready to happen).

I used to think that when people crossed over they had a bit of a ‘deprogramming’ time and that they couldn’t really connect for a while after their passing.

Over the years with messages I have received I now know more about how it works and I would like to share that with you.  It’s a common misconception that Spirit cannot communicate if they just crossed over.  I’ve talked to many people that have only been dead a few days (or hours).


Here’s the most common reason a mediumship session might not work so well

Sometimes if you are experiencing a lot of grief, spirit is less likely to come through clearly.  I have not yet figured out why that is exactly for sure, but I do have a good understanding of something else.

As we are having our human experiences, when we have a loss there is a grieving process to go through.  We need to go through this process in all its stages in order to be able to heal properly.

Our loved ones never want to tell us what to do or live our lives for us.  That is not their job.

If you have not fully completed aspects of your grieving process, or if connecting with a loved one who has passed would interfere with your own personal process they will not come through.

I will give you an example from one of my client readings (in around 2005), that really hit home to me the impact excessive grief can have on a mediumship reading.

I had a mom and an aunt come by for a reading.  They had lost a 14 year old boy in the last year.  The mom was very upset and grief stricken.  All three of us were sitting at my kitchen table.

I first talked to the mom and I was getting very little from her son.  The energy simply was not flowing.  I got a couple of really little bits of information, but it was quite difficult to do.

The mom was crying and put her head down in her hands.  Then the aunt started to address me.  Me and the aunt were talking and her nephew came through loud and clear and he was telling her all kinds of things and showing me pictures of things and everything.  It was a ‘normal’ exchange that I am used to in a mediumship reading.

After a few minutes when I was talking with the mom again, the same thing happened, almost nothing was flowing in for me.  I got almost no information of any use that could help her.

I cannot explain this, I have no other explanation except that the grief and desperation somehow blocked the flow of energy.

It happens sometimes.  There’s not a lot I can do about it.  I always try my best, but I know that the readings are not about me.  They are about you and your loved one.  I stay out of it.

As a human being who has also lost people I do sometimes feel badly when I cannot connect for someone who desperately wants it, but like I just said, its not about me.

I would also like you to know that if your loved one is not able to come through to you for any reason at all, its not about being your fault either.  Everything happens for a reason and everything happens in Gods time (not ours).  So if you ever go see a medium and they cannot connect, don’t blame yourself, don’t blame the medium and don’t blame your loved one.  You and your loved one will connect with each other in the way that is right in the time that is right for you.  Everything that happens with a mediumship reading with me is for your “highest and best good”, that is the intention I set.

What your highest and best good looks like isn’t my decision.


If you are looking for a mediumship reading, or if you need someone to help you look at your life from a fresh perspective and help you navigate changes in your life, to see if the changes you are considering are supported by Spirit, a psychic reading can help. You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.


No One Dies “Before Their Time”

We hear this quite often.  “They died before their time”.  I understand the phrase.  But really “No, they didn’t”.

They may have died before you were ready to let them go, but everyone dies at their time.  Not before, not after.  Doesn’t matter if they were 9 or 90 or in-utero or starting college, if it was not their time, they would still be here.

Our society looks at death as such an awful thing.  Its not.  We all do it.  No one doesn’t die.  It can be heartbreaking for us when one of our loved ones goes before we are ready, but I want you to know that they are okay.  When I connect with a loved one, they are all happy.

This can be really hard for you to hear if you have lost someone that was ‘younger’ than you would expect them to go.  I have talked to spirits of all ages, I have never talked to one that said “I wasn’t supposed to go”, NOT ONE EVER.  I have talked to spirits that said “Wow, didn’t expect that to happen”, but never “It shouldn’t have happened”.

no one dies before their time

We have soul agreements with pretty much everyone in our life.  Even if you lose someone and it seems ‘too early’, they came into your life for a reason.  Before they were born they knew when they might leave human form.  You agreed to be with them for the time they would have here.

Try and hold onto that thought, that even though you were not ready for them to go, they are not suffering.  They love you.  They are still with you, they are okay.  They want for you to be okay.  Without exception.

Talk to them, they can hear you.  They support you as best as they can in their current form.  And you WILL see them again.



For more information on this, you can read this post Signs that a dead loved one is around you.  Or you can book an psychic medium appointment with me and we can talk to them together.

Signs that a Dead Loved One is Around You

There is life after death.  You in your human form are a small part of who you really are.  Your loved ones that have ‘crossed over’ just don’t have their body anymore.  They are still with you though.

I talk to loved ones for my clients fairly often.  I have noticed over the years that there are certain common signs and symbols that your dead husband, or wife, or child, or friend or ancestors, or anyone else who may be around you will give you.

This is not a complete list because just as we are individual humans, we are also individual souls each with our own personalities.

Dead people want to talk to you

Top 5 Signs Your Deceased Loved One is With You and Trying to Let You Know they Are There

1.  You find coins.  The most common is dimes, but it can really be any type of coin.

2.  Small things such as keys or pens go missing or are in a different place than where you left them.

3.  Lights flash or dim or turn off or on.

4.  Music.  You hear a song that reminds you of them.

5.  You see birds or butterflies (these are common ‘visits’), but keep in mind that if your loved one had a favourite (could be a dragon fly, giraffe, poodle or something else), then that is what you may see.  It does not need to be the actual animal, it can just as easily be a picture or a Facebook post.

These are the most common signs that a loved one is with you but it is certainly not an exhaustive list.  I have had dead loved ones tell me other things that are not on this list.

How Do Your Dead People Give You Signs?

Your dead loved ones don’t necessarily physically place things in certain places for you (although I am sure some can).  The most common way for them to show you things or tell you things is to ‘whisper’ in your ear.  They may put a slight suggestion for you to ‘look behind you’, or ‘look down now’ or ‘change the station on the radio’, and you will see or hear their sign.  Many people who have come to see me for a psychic-medium reading were just online and they “don’t know how they even got to my website”, but there it was.  Chances are this was their loved one helping with subtle suggestions that they come and see me.

I hope this helps.  If you have lost someone and are wondering if they are with you, pay attention to things around you and you may just find that they are with you more often than you think.