Confused by an Abusive Relationship?

September 27, 2011 by 5 Comments

So I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and was sitting on it trying to decide if I should post it or not. Most of my blog posts just kind of come out of seemingly nowhere and I just pound them out as they come. With this one, on re-reading it the day after I wrote it, I thought it sounded a bit angry and cynical. For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you may recognize it as being different from what I normally write. For those of you new here, I apologize if the following post sounds harsh. Really, I’m not normally abrasive.

I have seen so many of my female clients suffering. I do not dislike men, but there are those out there that strive to have power and control over women. I am confident that none of them would be on my site and reading my blog anyway.

So all that said, here is my post about how a lot of abusive men start their relationships.

When you first meet, you are a princess to him. he says things like “I’ve never met anyone like you before”, or “I don’t deserve you”.

After somewhere from six weeks to three months, things start to change. Subtly at first. Maybe one night he goes out with his friends and ditches you without so much as a phone call and you get upset. His response is that, “this is the way I am, take it or leave it.” Or, he may say that you are controlling (with, of course, no mention of the lack of common courtesy of a phone call for standing you up).

He talks about his past girlfriends turning into bitches. Talking about what a nag she was, or that she was awful and how great you are, and how glad he is that you aren’t like her. How they had such volatile fights it was crazy. There is probably more than one woman in his past that he refers to in this way.

You start to get confused, you lose your centre of balance. You start to get upset. Maybe you have fights. He uses these as an excuse to go out with his friends even more; says its your fault, if you weren’t so miserable he’d want to spend more time with you. You begin to wonder what is so wrong with you that you can’t relax and just let things go along as they were.

You begin to question yourself. “Why am I so unhappy, he’s such a great guy and he’s with me. Why can’t I just relax and let him have some fun with his friends”. He starts to call you names. If you get upset about something he tells you that you are crazy. You suspect he’s with other women when he’s out but he says, “I love you, can’t you see that?” If you question him too much, your fights start to get a little extreme, maybe even physical. You think you are losing your mind, you love him so much, you are so connected. He gets you more than anyone else has. Why isn’t this working?

It’s not working because it will never work with him. He is controlling and he is abusive. You are mistaking what he presented to you in those first weeks with who he really is. He’s a good talker. Usually fairly handsome. He’s ‘bared his soul’ to you, told you things he’s never told to anyone else. He’s never felt this way before, nor have you.

The thing is….he does this all the time. You are NOT the first person he’s felt this with. You are NOT the first person he’s told this to. He has no idea how to have a real connection with anyone. What he DOES know how to do, is tell a woman exactly what she wants and needs to hear so that she will get hooked.

The connection you feel is often just because you are confused and stuck in ‘what was’ rather than ‘what is’. Your mind is what is connected. You are trying to make sense of things. You think he is ‘perfect’ and are trying to figure out how to get him back and make it work. The thing is, that you are not the first woman he’s done this to. There are others that are thinking and feeling the same things you are. They just came along before you. You will not be the last. He will be with another that he charms and then treats badly.

You are in love with the “potential” of the promises he made to you. Of the ideas he gave you, of the things he said. What you need to realize is that it was all a made up story in his mind. That’s it. That is where he gets his kicks. He may or may not be aware of what he’s doing, but the potential with this man is all that is ever there. He is incapable of truly feeling love. He can pretend for a little while but it goes no further than that. That’s it.

Think about it, do you really want to be hooked up with a guy that would call you those names? Really? What you really want is the guy back that he was in the beginning. I can tell you, that guy is NEVER coming back. Not for you. Only for the next unsuspecting woman that falls for him.

Filed Under: relationships Tagged With: ,

How the Human Experience is Like a Vacation

August 2, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I often write and talk about us creating our own reality. I know beyond any doubt that we are here to have an experience, and that we are creating it. Some parts we create before we get here, some after we have arrived.

This can be compared to booking a vacation.  Before your vacation, you decide where it is you want to go, who it is you are going with, where you will stay and what you will do while you are there. You plan your vacation.

Once you get to your destination, you can then decide whether or not to stick to your itinerary. Your choices of what to do while you are there become more clear. Sometimes you realize that you can do way more than you first thought you could, so you change your mind and decide to have a different experience than was planned. You have different information than you did while you were at home, so you make different choices. You may meet someone who has lived there for a long time and talk to them. They may tell you some things about where you are, and where you are planning to go. You may like that information and take it and continue on your journey. You may be horrified to hear about the place you are heading and decide to go somewhere else or do something else instead. Basically, the choice is up to you.

Some of you, while on your vacation, will say, “I can’t change that!! I’ve already paid for it, or planned it, or its already in the works and it can’t be stopped”. Or some will say its simply too much of a hassle to make the change, may as well do it, even if it won’t be as enjoyable as I first thought.

Life is like that too. If you believe that you can’t change it, or that it can’t be stopped, it can’t. You have made that your reality by stating it. If you think its too much of a hassle to change it, you will be stuck doing something that you likely won’t enjoy much, simply because you can’t be bothered to make the effort to change it.

We are Souls having a human experience. We chose the life we wanted to come into, our parents, people we wanted to meet, our country, our city. For whatever reason, our Soul wanted to have certain experiences. Now that you are here you can change your mind if you want to.

Stop thinking that “oh, this is just meant to be”. It doesn’t have to be like that. Change your mind, change your experience, change your life.

Filed Under: Creating Your Own Reality Tagged With: , ,

Part 1 – How Much Control Do You Have Over Your Life?

June 7, 2010 by 3 Comments

This blog post is Part One of a Two Part Series.

I write and talk a lot about you having control over your own life. A lot of clients ask me “How much control do I really have? Are some things just destiny, or meant to be?”

What about the things you really want, but that you don’t get. You need to remember, there is more to you than just your ego mind. You have a soul. A higher self that has come to this earth for a reason. You came here for an experience.

What you need to do, is to connect with your soul and see what it is that you really want, what your Soul wants. Sometimes if your ego mind is not in line with your soul, it can appear as if you really aren’t getting what you want.

If you have had a reading with me you know. I can often see clearly the path you are headed down, and what the result will be if you continue on that path. Basically, I can see where you are headed right now. Another thing you may know, is that whatever path I see you on at the moment CAN be changed. All it takes is for you to be conscious; to realize that there is more to you than just what you think and that if there is something coming up you do not like, or something you are experiencing right now that you do not like, you can change it by taking action.

Before you came here, your Soul decided that a certain thing would be your life purpose. (Some people refer to this information as what is contained in the Akashic records). HOW YOU EXPERIENCE YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS UP TO YOU. Once you get here and go through some experiences, it is up to you to decide whether or not to stay on the path you are on, or switch things up a bit.

Is it comfortable for you here? Do you feel like you are living your purpose? Which path do you chose to walk down on your way to fulfilling your purpose?

When I do a reading and see something coming up for someone and they do not like it, they can change it. Knowledge is a part of the power and control. ** Most people can tap into this themselves if they really want to, but it takes meditation, and patience and lots and lots of practice. Most have been conditioned to respond to things in a certain mindful or logical way and when they get inspired to do something completely different than what most people would call ‘normal’, they ignore it. In essence, they don’t listen to their inner guidance. So they may unconsciously, but yet from a soul level, create something that appears undesirable in everyday life in order to facilitate a change.

There have been times where I’ve looked at my own path, and consciously changed where I saw myself headed. I look, I see, I don’t like, I mediate, pray, ask for help, make changes, do energy work, ask through meditation which other way I can do it, whatever it takes to do things in a new way. I don’t think I really need to do more than just hold the intention of changing it, but doing those things helps me stay balanced and focused.

There are itmes when I look and see something I don’t like and I just prepare myself for it. There are a lot of difficult things I’ve gone though in my life but each and every one of them has made me who I am today. If not for the bad stuff, if my entire life had just been a bed of roses, I certainly wouldn’t be able to relate to people who are going through a tough time themselves. When I connect with a client who is going through a difficult time, it is easier for me to feel compassion if I’ve been there myself.

Anyway, next time you are trying to manifest or control something, take a look at what your end goal is. Does what you are doing in your day to day life right now support the end goal of what you want? What your higher self is trying to achieve? Do you need to shake things up a bit? Are you headed down a path where the only option for your higher self to get you where you need/want to be is through discomfort?

Sometimes you cannot dictate exactly what reaching your goal looks like. You don’t always get to where you want to be via the path that you initially planned with your mind, you may need to make adjustments along the way, but you truly do have control over where you end up.

** For those of you who wish to work on connecting with Spirit and learning how to “Do it Yourself”, I have recently received an online course to review called Psychic Awakening.
I will be posting a full review of the course in the next two weeks. However, after my initial perusal, I am confident that the course will be helpful to many.

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: , , , , ,
Email Newsletters with VerticalResponse