Power vs. Control

We are in some very powerful times on our planet.  2014 was a really intense year for all of us.  So much came up for us to evaluate or re-evaluate.  Some things just needed to be rejigged but a LOT of stuff needed to be let go of.

The good news.  Finally the energy from last year is clearing.  The bad news.  If you didn’t bother to practice some awareness and allow things that needed to go, to go, you are likely really uncomfortable right now.

More good news though.  The Universe and the changes of the collective consciousness on our planet are extremely supportive of each and every one of you awakened humans.  2015 is proving to be a fantastic year for stepping up and living your life ~ on your terms.

For all of you reading this, whether you are dealing with old energies or new, you are being prodded to step back into your rightful place of Power.  You are a powerful creator and you no longer have to be ruled by external forces.  There is nothing that you cannot do or be if that is what you want.  The trick here is to realize what you can and cannot control.

Being Powerful doesn’t necessarily mean you have any Control at all

Your power is a personal thing.  It is how you feel and how you create and how you do things in your life.  It is all about you.

It comes from within and is activated in you when you wake up in the morning knowing that you are creating your day with your thoughts and actions.  If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.  You are using your power.  You have the power to create, the power to tear down, the power to expand or the power to contract.  Every time you use your power to remind yourself that you can do it, you are “Em-Powered”.  If you use this same power to tell yourself you are stuck or that nothing is within your control you are “Dis-Em-Powered”.

Control is something that humans try hard to maintain.  It rarely works though because you seem to be constantly trying to control external things or other people.  Because it is impossible to control other people or things, when you try, you give your power away.

In this disempowered state, you then affirm that “they made me feel”, or “they made me stuck”, or “this situation/economy/job is causing me to… (fill in the blank)”.   Not that they made you, they just didn’t do what you wanted them to do.  Or in the case of the economy or your work, you are only stuck if you believe you are.  Suddenly it feels like they have (or it has) all the power and you feel powerless.

power and control

Power comes from the Soul.  Control comes from the Ego.

The only thing you need to do in a situation where you feel powerless is to state it differently.  You are never stuck unless you give up.  Giving up doesn’t always mean doing nothing.  Sometimes giving up means taking action.  Sometimes ‘giving up’ means fighting for what you want.  Giving up in this instance, means giving up control.

When you give up control you can find your power.

If you are in a relationship and the person you are with is acting in a way you do not like you feel powerless.  In this case, you are powerless to change them.  You cannot control them.  However, you are not the least bit powerless.

If you release them (or it) from your expectations and stop trying to control them (or it), you immediately get your power back.  It really is that simple.

When you are able to bring yourself back into your own power, you can say to yourself “okay, here I am, here they are, there is nothing at all I can do to change them”.  Then you can succinctly state what you want.  “I want to feel better” or “I want more money”, or “I want to work or live somewhere else”.

The minute you give up on trying to control them and you put your focus back on yourself your personal power kicks in.  Once you begin to feel your power your intuition will be able to kick in.  You won’t be blocking it by trying to control external factors.  You will free up that energy to be able to steer you in the direction you want to go, and you will find that you start to get NEW ideas flowing to you.  You will never be open to the new ideas, unless and until you let go of the need to control the way other people or things are.

What you focus on really is what you create more of.  The steps are simple, decide what you want and then stop blaming other people or circumstances for why you don’t have it yet.  Listen to your intuition.  Make some changes.


If you would like some help figuring things out in your life a psychic reading can help.  You can contact me here.

If you want to hear what others have said about their readings you can check that out on my Psychic Reading Testimonial/Review page.





Do you trust your path?

I went for a walk at the river today to clear my head and my energy. The path at the river is wide, reasonably flat and has no obstructions and is a wonderful place to spend some time.

Things are changing. A lot of us can feel it. We don’t know exactly what the changes will be, part of that will have to do with the energy of the collective on our planet, but change is here for sure.

As I was walking, I realized how much the path at the river was like the path of our lives. All we have to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other, and we will get where we are going.
Not that I was walking TO something at all. I was just walking. Enjoying the sounds, the sights, the smells, saying good morning to others’ on the trail. Smiling at the adults, the kids, the dogs. The purpose of my walk was to BE ON THE PATH. Not to do anything in particular or to get somewhere in particular. I needed to focus on being in my moment. I picked up a mantra that all was well, I walk forward freely through my life. Change is good. I don’t need to know specifically what the change is. It will be good and work out in the end, no matter what it is.

This started me thinking about trust. Trusting our path, trusting that we are right where we need to be. I decided to try an experiment. I put myself smack dab in the middle of the path and closed my eyes. I kept walking. I only made it about 6 steps and got nervous and opened my eyes again. I kept doing this over and over again. The farthest I got with my eyes closed was 50 steps. It was really hard to trust my path for that long without wanting to stop, or look around, or open my eyes. It was an exercise in trust though so I did it over and over again.

On average, I only made it about 12-18 steps without opening my eyes, if even for a second. Two times I inadvertently went off into the bushes on my left. At that point of going into the bushes, I felt something that I did not want, the ground was softer, branches touched my legs. I simply opened my eyes for a few moments, got myself back on my path, closed my eyes again and continued on my path. I did this over and over for about 2 km of my 6 km walk. Closing my eyes, trusting the path, and every now and then, pausing for just a millisecond to open my eyes and make sure I was still where I needed to be.

When I heard someone coming, either in front of me, or behind, I would open my eyes long enough that my path did not run me straight into someone else’s path, and then my eyes would close again. My lesson in trusting my path. At one point, a fellow walking faster than me came up from behind. He was walking to the left of the path and I was on the right. I thought to myself, if I close my eyes and kind of follow him, I will hear his footsteps and I will know where I am on my path, because I can follow his sound. He will be up and to my left.

I didn’t close my eyes at that point, not because I did not trust my path, but because I did not know for sure what his was. Within 10 seconds of him passing me, he actually moved over to the path in front of me. If I had closed my eyes and followed his path by sound (thinking he would stay on my left and just in front of me), I likely would have walked right into the river.
You see, he was on his path, and I was on mine. If I had tried to follow him, it would have put me right off of my path.

Life is like this. Our path’s are like this. Your path is your path. You need to trust it. You don’t always need to see it. Sometimes you can just close your eyes and know that you are on it. If you need some assurance you are still on your correct path, just open your eyes for a moment, take a quick look around. You will see that yes, you are still on your path, you can redirect a little or a lot, but then you need to carry on and trust that you are right where you need to be.

September 28, 2013

Things continue to shift and change. There are a lot of us who feel as if we are in an in-between place. Intuitively we know that things are changing, but this time trying to see specifically what they are changing into is tricky. Some of you are confused as to what it is you really want in your life. You know you cannot stay the same, but your path doesn’t seem so clear anymore. You are not alone.

There are so many things going on with the collective consciousness: the old systems are in the process of falling, but it is taking a long time. Every week there are “prophecies” or “people from NASA”, or other supposed “Experts”, that are telling us the world is coming to an end. Starting with Armageddon last December, to Solar flares in August, to bombing Syria in September, all these things are “Possibilities”, none of them have happened. If you want proof that the world is ending, you can find it online anywhere.

If you want proof that we are ascending to a higher consciousness you can find that everywhere too.

Which is true? They both are. YOU create your reality. What you focus on expands. If you chose to focus on all the “bad” in the world, you will get more bad in your personal world. If you choose to focus on all the “good” in your world, you will get more good in your world.

The more of us that focus on the Love and Light and positive aspects of our planet, the more positive things will be able to happen.

We can use our vibration to help the planet. Keep your vibration as high as you can. If thinking about the changes you are going through stresses you out, then STOP thinking about them. No amount of thinking, analyzing, or worrying will make the changes easier. I know this first hand. I am a seeker and a quester, I want to know everything I can about everything I see. I love research and I like to know what is going on with the world and the collective. I have been this way my whole life. Numerologically I am a 7 life path, its in my energy to want to know things.

You do have control over some of your circumstances, and you have 100% control over how you react to your circumstances. What you need to know is this:

  • The world is changing
  • You may feel lost because you know your life/world is changing (could be with family, work, finances, or some other subject, but you feel change)
  • You likely feel as if you do not have a lot of control over things right now
  • Everything will work out okay in the end

What to do:

  • Keep your vibration as high as possible
  • Sometimes when you do not know what to do next, the best thing to do is nothing. Live in the moment and allow yourself to feel gratitude for what you have, to feel love for those around you, anything to help you feel the best you can in any given moment.
  • A lot of us in the world (and in other dimensions), are focusing on love and peace and it IS having an impact. Do not let anyone tell you that you and your energy does not matter, it DOES, more than you know, so focus on your heart.

We are on earth at a momentous time of change. Change usually does bring discomfort, however, change is good. We cannot continue on as we have, and most of us are not. The easiest way to get through change is to accept it, feel as good as you can, and carry on.

Spread LOVE, Energies of August 2013

As a collective, we need to focus on LOVE. Do not be afraid. We do not want a bunch of fear energy to permeate our planet. The governments may want that, the media may want that, but WE, do not want, nor do we need that right now. We need LOVE.

We have the ability to create whatever we want on this earth. Our experience depends on what we are projecting. If we are projecting love, we will feel and attract love. If we are projecting fear, we will feel and attract more fear.

We are in uncharted territory here. Our world is changing. We are changing. It is up to US. THE COLLECTIVE, what it is we want it to change into. Most reading this want to have peace on earth. We want to feel good, we want to feel love. It IS possible.

There are waves of peace flowing all over the planet. So many of us are focused on love and peace, and if you are not one of them, then now is the time to start. Be aware of where you are vibrating and projecting in every moment. No matter what is happening in your life, focus on feeling loving thoughts. Even if your circumstances do not feel very loving at this moment, there will be some spot in your past that you can focus on. A spot where you felt love, you felt safe, you felt happy. Remember and focus on that. What you focus on you create. If you focus on that it will change your vibration and bring more loving, safe, and happy circumstances into your life.

Countries all over the world are shutting down their embassy’s in many parts of the world. They will tell you that it is due to a terrorist threat. They are full of crap. It has more to do with the governments of our world fighting with each other. The cold war is getting pretty hot at the moment. Once again, do not be afraid of this. LOVE. This is a changing time in our history. It’s time to let go of everything that doesn’t matter, and focus on LOVE and PEACE.

It doesn’t need to come down to some horrible apocalyptic end. For the record, I don’t think it will. What it will come down to is the awakening of the planet. Don’t you think it’s time to quit believing all the crap you are told by those that want to control you and start thinking for yourself?

You may ask yourself, “what can I do”, all of this is out of my control, I am only one little person. While it is true you cannot control other people or things, you CAN control yourself. You can control your thoughts, feelings, and energy. We are ALL ONE. If you are focused on love, you are spreading love energy, you are taking part in the raising of the vibration of the planet.

Just as if you put one drop of poison into 25 gallons of water, it would likely not kill you, don’t let the media or governments poison you. Be a pure drop of water in the 25 gallons, diffuse the poison. Use LOVE. There are so many more of us that are focused on love and peace, than are focused on war and control. Ignore what you are hearing. Focus on what you KNOW in your heart. As a collective, we can diffuse ANY and ALL negative situations on the planet. WE ARE POWERFUL. Don’t ever forget that. And do not let ‘fear mongering’ lower your vibration.

Now is the time to focus on and create what we want on our earth. Please, be one of the ones that focuses on PEACE AND LOVE. Don’t let all the BS they are trying to spread get you down. We need you. We need your LOVE. We need your positive thoughts and affirmations. WE can do this. WE can BE THE CHANGE. It is so very very simple and easy. Just keep LOVE in your heart.

You Feeling Badly Doesn’t Help Anyone

Feeling crappy doesn’t help anyone

If you can help, then help.  If you cannot help, then at least work on raising your vibration and feeling better. We are all one.  If you feel bad, it DOES impact the entire planet on some level.  You need to be as happy, positive and grateful as you can in any given moment. Your sadness will not aid the planet.  You being poor will not feed the hungry.  What you have does not DETRACT from anything anyone else has.  You having MORE and being happier actually helps. You being healthy does not make someone else sick.  You being well fed does not take food out of someone else’s mouth.  You being happy does not make another sad.  You being stuck and disempowering yourself will not help others to rise up.

No one else can take your power.  Only you can give it away.  You may say “yes, but the government, or my husband, or my parents, the banking system…..”  the list goes on and on for who you can blame.  I stand by the statement that only YOU can GIVE your power.  NO ONE can take it.  Ever heard the phrase “You reap what you sow”?  What you think is what you feel, what you feel is what you vibrate.  If you are constantly blaming and disempowering yourself, then you are indeed reaping what you have sown.  The really good news is that you can change it.  You can change your thoughts.  I understand how hard it can seem to shut down your mind ~ so many things to do…  however, all it takes is a few minutes.  Just sit, just BE.  Take some really big (and I mean BIG) deep breaths and focus on your body and your breathing, think only of them.  You cannot have more than one thought in any millisecond.  If you are focused on your breathing and/or your body, you cannot possibly be focused on something else.  If you find your mind wandering, that’s okay, just bring it back.

In order to get more of what you want, you need to feel good.  Did I say that already?  I will say it again and again and again because it is the truth.  We all know those people who say “Oh, bad stuff always happens to me”, or we stub our toe in the morning and say “It’s going to be one of those days”, and then we spill our coffee, are late for work etc.  YOU are creating that.  What if when you stubbed your toe, you allowed the experience to bring you back into your body, your awareness.  What were you thinking about at the time?  Your higher self is trying to tell you something.  Don’t let it snowball into a bad day.  Become aware of whatever you were thinking and change your thoughts, your feelings, the energy behind it.  There are so many opportunities that show up for us to remind us to be present, be aware.  We’ve been rather programmed to be on auto-pilot.  Take every opportunity you can to feel good. “Thank you for me stubbing my toe.  It reminds me to BE”.  Just a simple switch of perspective WILL change your whole day.

I talk to so many people that are broke.  They say, “I don’t want money, I just want to be happy”.  I want to help people, I want to do this or that, I wish I could afford to talk to you.  All in the same sentence. It makes no sense.  At the moment, we live in a system that involves money.  If you had more money, you would be able to help more people.  If you are broke and feeling badly, then who exactly are you helping?  Keeping yourself down, or feeling “less than” isn’t helping anyone.  Shine your light, speak your truth.

I also talk to a lot of people who want a relationship.  When I’m connected with their energy, I can feel where they are vibrating.  So many say “I want a relationship”, yet their vibration is one of lack, of dissatisfaction, of living in the past, of loneliness. You CANNOT attract a positive relationship from this state.  Sometimes people who are vibrating low like this ask me “When will I meet someone”.  The type of answer I get is always different for each person, but it is similar.  You can potentially meet ‘someone’ quite quickly.  The message I get behind it, the message that I share, 97% of the time with this vibration is; “if you work on clearing _____ (usually, but not always it’s a past relationship with either an SO or family member), if you step into ______ part of your being, if you adjust your thoughts (and therefore vibration) to ______, then you will be able to meet a person that you can be happy and grow with.

At this point, you create your own future.  You can work on what your guides and Source has shared with you, or you can say Tamara is full of sh*t, and go on your way, and get into a relationship that is just as crappy as the last one you had. The choice is so very much yours.

You can have what you want.  You staying stuck in your lower vibration, and hooking up with someone who is vibrating at a low place won’t help you, it won’t help them.  You being UNHAPPY in a relationship WILL NOT make the other person happier.  Don’t give away your power to someone who does not want your “help”.





Confused by an Abusive Relationship?

So I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and was sitting on it trying to decide if I should post it or not. Most of my blog posts just kind of come out of seemingly nowhere and I just pound them out as they come. With this one, on re-reading it the day after I wrote it, I thought it sounded a bit angry and cynical. For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you may recognize it as being different from what I normally write. For those of you new here, I apologize if the following post sounds harsh. Really, I’m not normally abrasive.

I have seen so many of my female clients suffering. I do not dislike men, but there are those out there that strive to have power and control over women. I am confident that none of them would be on my site and reading my blog anyway.

So all that said, here is my post about how a lot of abusive men start their relationships.

When you first meet, you are a princess to him. he says things like “I’ve never met anyone like you before”, or “I don’t deserve you”.

After somewhere from six weeks to three months, things start to change. Subtly at first. Maybe one night he goes out with his friends and ditches you without so much as a phone call and you get upset. His response is that, “this is the way I am, take it or leave it.” Or, he may say that you are controlling (with, of course, no mention of the lack of common courtesy of a phone call for standing you up).

He talks about his past girlfriends turning into bitches. Talking about what a nag she was, or that she was awful and how great you are, and how glad he is that you aren’t like her. How they had such volatile fights it was crazy. There is probably more than one woman in his past that he refers to in this way.

You start to get confused, you lose your centre of balance. You start to get upset. Maybe you have fights. He uses these as an excuse to go out with his friends even more; says its your fault, if you weren’t so miserable he’d want to spend more time with you. You begin to wonder what is so wrong with you that you can’t relax and just let things go along as they were.

You begin to question yourself. “Why am I so unhappy, he’s such a great guy and he’s with me. Why can’t I just relax and let him have some fun with his friends”. He starts to call you names. If you get upset about something he tells you that you are crazy. You suspect he’s with other women when he’s out but he says, “I love you, can’t you see that?” If you question him too much, your fights start to get a little extreme, maybe even physical. You think you are losing your mind, you love him so much, you are so connected. He gets you more than anyone else has. Why isn’t this working?

It’s not working because it will never work with him. He is controlling and he is abusive. You are mistaking what he presented to you in those first weeks with who he really is. He’s a good talker. Usually fairly handsome. He’s ‘bared his soul’ to you, told you things he’s never told to anyone else. He’s never felt this way before, nor have you.

The thing is….he does this all the time. You are NOT the first person he’s felt this with. You are NOT the first person he’s told this to. He has no idea how to have a real connection with anyone. What he DOES know how to do, is tell a woman exactly what she wants and needs to hear so that she will get hooked.

The connection you feel is often just because you are confused and stuck in ‘what was’ rather than ‘what is’. Your mind is what is connected. You are trying to make sense of things. You think he is ‘perfect’ and are trying to figure out how to get him back and make it work. The thing is, that you are not the first woman he’s done this to. There are others that are thinking and feeling the same things you are. They just came along before you. You will not be the last. He will be with another that he charms and then treats badly.

You are in love with the “potential” of the promises he made to you. Of the ideas he gave you, of the things he said. What you need to realize is that it was all a made up story in his mind. That’s it. That is where he gets his kicks. He may or may not be aware of what he’s doing, but the potential with this man is all that is ever there. He is incapable of truly feeling love. He can pretend for a little while but it goes no further than that. That’s it.

Think about it, do you really want to be hooked up with a guy that would call you those names? Really? What you really want is the guy back that he was in the beginning. I can tell you, that guy is NEVER coming back. Not for you. Only for the next unsuspecting woman that falls for him.

How the Human Experience is Like a Vacation

I often write and talk about us creating our own reality. I know beyond any doubt that we are here to have an experience, and that we are creating it. Some parts we create before we get here, some after we have arrived.

This can be compared to booking a vacation.  Before your vacation, you decide where it is you want to go, who it is you are going with, where you will stay and what you will do while you are there. You plan your vacation.

Once you get to your destination, you can then decide whether or not to stick to your itinerary. Your choices of what to do while you are there become more clear. Sometimes you realize that you can do way more than you first thought you could, so you change your mind and decide to have a different experience than was planned. You have different information than you did while you were at home, so you make different choices. You may meet someone who has lived there for a long time and talk to them. They may tell you some things about where you are, and where you are planning to go. You may like that information and take it and continue on your journey. You may be horrified to hear about the place you are heading and decide to go somewhere else or do something else instead. Basically, the choice is up to you.

Some of you, while on your vacation, will say, “I can’t change that!! I’ve already paid for it, or planned it, or its already in the works and it can’t be stopped”. Or some will say its simply too much of a hassle to make the change, may as well do it, even if it won’t be as enjoyable as I first thought.

Life is like that too. If you believe that you can’t change it, or that it can’t be stopped, it can’t. You have made that your reality by stating it. If you think its too much of a hassle to change it, you will be stuck doing something that you likely won’t enjoy much, simply because you can’t be bothered to make the effort to change it.

We are Souls having a human experience. We chose the life we wanted to come into, our parents, people we wanted to meet, our country, our city. For whatever reason, our Soul wanted to have certain experiences. Now that you are here you can change your mind if you want to.

Stop thinking that “oh, this is just meant to be”. It doesn’t have to be like that. Change your mind, change your experience, change your life.

Part 1 – How Much Control Do You Have Over Your Life?

This blog post is Part One of a Two Part Series.

I write and talk a lot about you having control over your own life. A lot of clients ask me “How much control do I really have? Are some things just destiny, or meant to be?”

What about the things you really want, but that you don’t get. You need to remember, there is more to you than just your ego mind. You have a soul. A higher self that has come to this earth for a reason. You came here for an experience.

What you need to do, is to connect with your soul and see what it is that you really want, what your Soul wants. Sometimes if your ego mind is not in line with your soul, it can appear as if you really aren’t getting what you want.

If you have had a reading with me you know. I can often see clearly the path you are headed down, and what the result will be if you continue on that path. Basically, I can see where you are headed right now. Another thing you may know, is that whatever path I see you on at the moment CAN be changed. All it takes is for you to be conscious; to realize that there is more to you than just what you think and that if there is something coming up you do not like, or something you are experiencing right now that you do not like, you can change it by taking action.

Before you came here, your Soul decided that a certain thing would be your life purpose. (Some people refer to this information as what is contained in the Akashic records). HOW YOU EXPERIENCE YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS UP TO YOU. Once you get here and go through some experiences, it is up to you to decide whether or not to stay on the path you are on, or switch things up a bit.

Is it comfortable for you here? Do you feel like you are living your purpose? Which path do you chose to walk down on your way to fulfilling your purpose?

When I do a reading and see something coming up for someone and they do not like it, they can change it. Knowledge is a part of the power and control. ** Most people can tap into this themselves if they really want to, but it takes meditation, and patience and lots and lots of practice. Most have been conditioned to respond to things in a certain mindful or logical way and when they get inspired to do something completely different than what most people would call ‘normal’, they ignore it. In essence, they don’t listen to their inner guidance. So they may unconsciously, but yet from a soul level, create something that appears undesirable in everyday life in order to facilitate a change.

There have been times where I’ve looked at my own path, and consciously changed where I saw myself headed. I look, I see, I don’t like, I mediate, pray, ask for help, make changes, do energy work, ask through meditation which other way I can do it, whatever it takes to do things in a new way. I don’t think I really need to do more than just hold the intention of changing it, but doing those things helps me stay balanced and focused.

There are itmes when I look and see something I don’t like and I just prepare myself for it. There are a lot of difficult things I’ve gone though in my life but each and every one of them has made me who I am today. If not for the bad stuff, if my entire life had just been a bed of roses, I certainly wouldn’t be able to relate to people who are going through a tough time themselves. When I connect with a client who is going through a difficult time, it is easier for me to feel compassion if I’ve been there myself.

Anyway, next time you are trying to manifest or control something, take a look at what your end goal is. Does what you are doing in your day to day life right now support the end goal of what you want? What your higher self is trying to achieve? Do you need to shake things up a bit? Are you headed down a path where the only option for your higher self to get you where you need/want to be is through discomfort?

Sometimes you cannot dictate exactly what reaching your goal looks like. You don’t always get to where you want to be via the path that you initially planned with your mind, you may need to make adjustments along the way, but you truly do have control over where you end up.

** For those of you who wish to work on connecting with Spirit and learning how to “Do it Yourself”, I have recently received an online course to review called Psychic Awakening.
I will be posting a full review of the course in the next two weeks. However, after my initial perusal, I am confident that the course will be helpful to many.