Positive, loving energy, creates and draws more positive and loving energy. Denser, fearful energy creates and draws more negative feelings and denser energy.

In my own life right now I have some great examples of how I decided what it is that I really want. This is personal, but hey, I’m an open book, and if it helps even one person it is worth it.  So here goes.

I decided a while ago, that the thing(s) I wanted most in life was to be happy (less stress), be healthy, and to be financially secure (ie get my bills paid down). We have a construction company and (without going into too much detail) it got slow for quite a while and our debt load got HUGE. I also had some health problems for a while (that are thankfully better now, not perfect, but better).

So, I will share how am I handling it, what I am affirming, and maybe it will help you with deciding what it is you want and how to get it.

For the happiness factor. Every day, I focus on what I can do, and keep moving forward. There are certain things I do to be happy. The biggest one is to know and affirm that I am right where I need to be and to know that I can do, be or change anything in my life in any given moment. It is often a personal choice whether or not to be happy. Don’t tune me out here, I know a lot of you are saying “easy for you to say”.

However, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that this last spring I went through a pretty tough time. My health wasn’t all that great, and I was super tired and depressed. The one thing that kept me going was that I knew I would get through it. I remember thinking “One day I will look back at this as the hardest period of my entire life”.

So, in order to “be happy’ and ‘be healthy’, the first thing I did was acknowledge that it was something I was going through and that I would come out the other side of it. I went to my doctor, my naturopath, a Soul Realignment Practitioner, got my energy cleared, my house cleared out of all its ghosts, prayed a lot, tried to get out of the house when I could … the list goes on. I kept moving in the direction I wanted to be heading. I tried really hard not to focus on how lousy I was feeling.

As much as our energy is powerful, so are our brains. We actually build ‘bridges’ in our brains for repetitive thoughts and behaviours. This is how habits are formed. We have all had times in our life where something has happened that was so painful that we thought we might not survive it. If you are reading this, you survived it. You need to focus on the fact that you will survive it this time too. No matter how hard it is, you will survive it. This does two things, it enhances an energy of creating better feelings, and it also keeps your brain from creating negative bridges. (ie. This hurts so bad, I’m going to die vs. I can get through this, I always do)

Something I have always worked on is not worrying about the stuff I cannot control. This can be hard to do for many people. When you are not feeling good about who and where you are you are likely to take on controlling behaviors. Even with the small stuff.

For example: My PC has been breaking down. I messed with it myself for a week and then decided it was beyond my abilities to fix it so I brought it in to be fixed. It was in the shop for a few days and I got it back. I thought all was well, but a couple of days ago noticed that I was missing an awful lot of e-mails. I get tons of emails and my in-box was actually manageable ~ I knew something was amiss. So I checked it out and one of my email addresses was not sending emails to my in-box. It took just over a day of working with my Web Hosing company (they were super helpful), and I got my emails up and running again.

Half-way through this weeks-long process (at least I hope its done now and that what I think is half-way is), my husband came home and commented on how calm I was despite all these issues and the time it was taking.

I was calm because I knew I could not control it. Why get totally upset over something I can’t control? I was trying. I was working on it every day, moving forward, trying this and that, taking my PC in to a professional when all else failed. I was doing what I could and letting go of the rest.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t care that I couldn’t get back to my clients. Or that I didn’t care I wasn’t getting blog posts or work done. It was that there was nothing I could do about it except what I was doing so why get all riled up! (and yes, meditation does help – a lot).

I need to mention too that I was working on this blog post on Friday morning when my website had a “FATAL ERROR”.  I could not get back to this post, and when I tried to pull up www.tamarahawk.com online, every page said “FATAL ERROR” so anyone going to my site on Friday would have seen only that.  I must admit I was a bit worried that my website was gone and I would need to recreate the whole thing from scratch.  I chose to go and sit and meditate for a while and then contacted my techie friends and webhosing company and they were able to get it back online for me.

It could have gone either way, I could have focused on all the lousy aspects of what was happening, or I could “Let go and Let God” and just do for the sake of doing. I chose to let go. (Please do not confuse letting go for giving up).

Now for the second thing I am trying to create. Getting my bills paid down or off. (I know a lot of you will be able to relate to this one).

That last sentence I wrote is NOT how I manifest things. We need to focus on what we want and focusing on bills and debt, no matter what the context, will not get them paid off, it will just create more bills and debt.

I focus on money and cheques coming in from both businesses. I focus on money going into a savings account. I focus on the knowing I will have what it is I really want and need. I focus on anything positive I can think of around having abundance.  I pay people I owe instead of buying myself something new that I do not need.

So now here is the part that some of you may find difficult. You need to ACT like you have what you want, and ACT in a way for you to get it. So many ‘guru’s’ are talking about manifesting things and saying you can have whatever you want. Yes you can. They say to act as if you already have it. However, you also need to ACT in a way that will get you there.

An easy example:  You do not lose weight by eating and acting like a fat person, and you do not create abundance by spending money you do not have.

Here’s another personal example that I hope will explain this in more detail and that you can relate to. I have been trying to get together with a friend for quite a while. We live a few hours apart and we are planning on getting together for a weekend. She is prepared to go next weekend, but I am not sure. I have not committed to next weekend away because at this moment, I am needing to wait for other people or things (remember, I cannot control those things), before I know if I can afford a weekend away.

I was thinking about this situation and wondering about Manifesting it. It crossed my mind that if I can manifest anything, why don’t I just plan it and then manifest the weekend trip. Kind of a “build it and they will come” mentality.

This is why I am not doing that…..

Firstly. As I wrote in the beginning paragraphs, the things I want to manifest the most are being happy, healthy and financially secure. Which includes less stress.

Here is how trying to manifest my weekend away to happen quickly can create stress and bite me in the you know where.

If I commit now to a weekend away for next weekend there are a few things that could happen. The biggest one being is that I will be relying on other people/things, and this will create MORE STRESS. The stress of waiting, the stress of ‘will I let my friend down’, ‘will the cheques come in’, the list goes on.

If I commit and the expected accounts receivable for the construction end of things does not come in, then I will feel badly on many levels. I will either have to go into more debt to go for the weekend OR I will have to cancel the weekend with my friend at the last minute.

In either of those scenarios I will be moving away from one of the main things I want in life. I will either be spending money I do not have yet, creating MORE debt, or making my friend unhappy, which will create more unhappiness and stress.

So, here is where I stand. I will be patient and I will wait. I know beyond any doubt that me and my friend will get together. I just cannot control other people or things so I cannot control the when of it. I will not spend or commit to spending money that I do not have, nor will I put myself and my friend in a position where we feel badly about a last-minute cancellation.

You do always get what you create. It is just a matter of deciding what you want and letting go of the how’s or when’s. If you are facing any decisions like this, just remember to always go back to what it is that you want the most and create from there.

If it takes me a while to get back to you, please do not take it personally. I do everything I can not to get your ‘stuff’ when I get your e-mail so it is very very rare, when I get an email and think – ‘that person has weird/bizarre/negative energy, I better not engage their energy’. As a matter of fact that has happened probably a total of about 3 times in my life. If you take into account that I get hundreds (maybe thousands, I’ve never really counted them all) of e-mails a year, if I haven’t got back to you in a timely manner it likely has more to do with me than it does to do with you.

I am forever talking about us creating our own reality.

Here is the reality I have tried (and mostly succeeded), in creating.

The list could go on and on and on.

The way I have set things up for myself is simple. If I am too tired to sit at my computer, or to reply to an email or to do a quality reading, I won’t do it. Its pretty easy and straightforward.

Some people may think that this means I do not care about you. That couldn’t be farther from the truth actually, I do care. I have just chosen to care about myself as much as I care about you. That is a hard one for a lot of people to get their mind around. Self care. Wow, aren’t we supposed to put others before ourselves?

Yes and no. I put my son and his needs before my own (only to the extent that me being his mother requires though). If he wants me to help him clean his room or do his laundry (hardly life threatening), and I want to go to the barn and ride my horse – my needs come first. If he wants me to fix his dinner because he just played soccer for four hours and I’m sitting and reading a book, I would likely put his need for dinner before my need to relax. It is all about priorities.

Here I am almost getting off-topic again. I’ve always got so much to say, it is sometimes hard for me to just “get to the point” (something my wonderful husband can certainly relate to I’m sure).

Back to replying to e-mails and such. Two years ago I was in really rough shape. I could not do more than one thing a day, usually in the morning. Which meant, if I did readings in the morning, I could not vacuum the house (as a matter of fact, I usually didn’t even have the energy to fix myself lunch). If I went to the barn to ride, I would do so and come home and sleep. If I had to go out in the evening, I did nothing all day and then had a nap that afternoon just so I had enough energy to leave the house. I weighed 30 pounds more than I do now, I was pale, had black circles under my eyes all the time, was impatient with my family, and felt horrible almost every day. I ended up taking about 8 months off from doing any readings at all.

I took some time for me and got myself healthier. I worked with my naturopath, my doctor, my family, and my guides. I got some rest, I meditated a lot. I actually took some time out for myself.

This leads me to here. For the most part I feel good on any given day. As I wrote above, I have the reality that I have worked for years to create. Sometimes the creation process felt hard, sometimes it felt easy. Most of the time whether it was easy or difficult was just the way I was perceiving it at the time.

The simple reason for me occasionally taking my time to get back to you is that I am caring for myself too. I don’t have an assistant that can get back to you. I have tried auto-responders but that didn’t work for me. More often than not I do not know how I will be feeling, or what I will feel like doing three weeks from now, so I don’t like to book that far in advance.

When I have a day or a few days where I am doing a lot of readings it tires me out. Plain and simple. I used to think that if I was so good at creating my reality and if I was so practiced at energy work I should be able to simply connect to Source Energy and voila, I’d be fine.

Fact is, they tire me out. Sometimes I become a bit of a hermit for a few days (or longer). Don’t talk to anyone on the phone, don’t go out of the house. Just sit and flop and rest. Can’t even get my mind and energy around writing or reading or hanging with my family or riding my horse. I just flop, zone out and regenerate.

I don’t mind doing this sometimes. One of the reasons I came here on this trip to Earth was to do my readings. I want to help people, I like my work. I have just made a concious decision that I cannot do this every week of my life. In the past few months I actually felt like I had “got a life”. Its a really nice feeling, and I would like to keep it. Had I kept doing what I was doing a couple of years ago I would likely either be in a hospital or a loony bin, or just sitting on the couch doing nothing, weighing 600 pounds. The years I have left to share messages would be gone. At the rate things are going now, I will likely be writing and sharing and educating for many years to come. I like that reality a lot better than martyrdom and thinking that I always have to put others first, even to the detriment of myself.

I once had a client tell me, “you told me I would not be happy for another 8 years”. I said, “What?!?” I would never say that to anyone, ever.

We create our own happiness.

After asking the client to elaborate on what it was I told her, she said “you told me I would not be in a nice comfortable relationship until I felt better, and that in about 8 years time I would be in a very happy place and co-habitating with the love of my life”.

Well, I can tell you, one of the reasons why this client is going to take so long to find a happy relationship is that she thinks that she cannot be happy without one. You have to be in a good space yourself before you can find a truly decent partnership. No healthy, well adjusted individual wants to get into a relationship with someone who thinks that a relationship is the only thing that can make them happy.

What a load to put onto someone. I am unhappy now, so please come into my life and fix all my problems and make me happy. Every thing you do, and every move you make has to be done with the express purpose and intent to make me happy. That is a pretty tall order, even for a wonderful, loving human being.

Think about that for a minute. Here you are, going through your life, and thinking that you are miserable. If only you had someone to share your life (your misery), with, you would be happy. That is an oxymoron if I ever heard one.

Would it not be easier to just find yourself a happy place and be (mostly) happy on a daily basis, and have a happy, well adjusted individual find their way into your life? I have had clients tell me that if the person they are asking about is not the one, then “I give up, I will never be happy”. This is the decision they have made for themselves.

Anything I see can be changed – ANYTHING. Knowledge is power, and if you have been given a message from Spirit, you have been given additional knowledge. You can take that knowledge and act on it, or do nothing. Your actions can be positive (coming from a high vibration) or they can be negative (coming from a dense energy vibration).

You can make any choice you want. You can choose to say “I will never be happy”, or “I won’t be happy for X amount of years”, or you can chose to say, maybe I should change something about my present attitude, outlook and circumstances, and so I can find someone to share my life with sooner”.

No matter which you choose you will be creating your own reality.

You can make the choice to do some healing work, see what might be keeping you from having the relationship you want. You can look at where you are at right now. You can look at where you are headed. You can then consciously change some of your decisions and the daily things you do and change your future. Period.

Some of you who are not happy with what Spirit has said about you finding a good relationship are in that spot not because of what you are trying to find, but because of what you are not willing to give up.

You are not willing to give up a man (or woman), who is not available to join you in a positive experience (they are married to someone else, abusive to you, abuse drugs/alcohol, the list of unavailable reasons is long) or, you are not willing to give up your baggage from past experiences, or you are not willing to give up on your own need for misery (or negative thinking), or your belief that you cannot be happy without someone else. You will not give up on the mindset that you are an incomplete person and will not be happy under any circumstances unless you are in a relationship. To be happy with someone else, you must be comfortable with yourself.

Nothing that I, or any other psychic tells you is ‘set in stone’. I know beyond any doubt that we have choices while here on earth and our day to day choices create our reality. If you are told from me, or any other psychic, that a relationship is a while off yet, perhaps the best question to ask yourself is: “How can I be happy in the meantime, and perhaps attract a positive experience and/or relationship into my life sooner”. It really can be that easy.

With love, as always, Tamara

Something we do not ever have control over is someone else. A lot of times you may find yourself wondering why you are in a certain situation, thinking that “if I have control over my life, why are things turning out this way?”

Take a close look at what is going on and see if what you are going through is really a personal thing for or with you, or if it is related to someone or something else. What actions are you taking to get what you say you want? If you aren’t taking any actions, the universe and your higher self will take over to get you to where you would like to be. This might lead to a feeling of having no control, when really you do.

Let’s say you are trying very hard to manifest a good relationship. Well, these types of things take two. So, if your mind has chosen someone who cannot give you what you want, you need to change your mind: “Why am I not getting what I want if I have control?” Maybe you are. Maybe the only way to have the relationship you are dreaming of is to let go of the one you are in. You cannot control other people.

It often works like this for career too. If we want something else, but are really comfortable where we are, the chances of us making a change are pretty slim. Which means, the chances of us making changes in order to manifest our dreams are slim. Sometimes we think about what we want our career to look like without taking any action. That is when things can get uncomfortable, and we finally make a move.

This applies even in this “global recession”. We don’t have control over the ‘global’ part, but we have control over our own part. If it is affecting you, what have you changed? Have you adjusted yourself accordingly? You cannot necessarily make a job or money appear out of thin air, but you can create a job and money. It will take some work and (sometimes), a different way of thinking about things. You most certainly can take control and do things differently, expand your awareness and allow other experiences into your life.

Only you can answer these questions for yourself. But whenever you feel blocked and out of control of your life, wondering if this is ‘just how it is’, or ‘maybe I need to be learning something’ or whatever the thought is: take a close look and see exactly what it is that you would like to manifest differently in your life.

Take stock of what it is that you want. Where do you see yourself headed? What is it that you are trying to control? Is there something that you want in your life but it is not appearing? What changes do you need to make, consciously, before the new can show itself to you? Where are you holding back on making changes? Where can you make some moves and do things differently. These are all areas that you need to look at before you will realize how much control you really do have.

I write and talk a lot about you having control over your own life. A lot of clients ask me “How much control do I really have? Are some things just destiny, or meant to be?”

What about the things you really want, but that you don’t get. You need to remember, there is more to you than just your ego mind. You have a soul. A higher self that has come to this earth for a reason. You came here for an experience.

What you need to do, is to connect with your soul and see what it is that you really want, what your Soul wants. Sometimes if your ego mind is not in line with your soul, it can appear as if you really aren’t getting what you want.

If you have had a reading with me you know. I can often see clearly the path you are headed down, and what the result will be if you continue on that path. Basically, I can see where you are headed right now. Another thing you may know, is that whatever path I see you on at the moment CAN be changed. All it takes is for you to be conscious; to realize that there is more to you than just what you think and that if there is something coming up you do not like, or something you are experiencing right now that you do not like, you can change it by taking action.

Before you came here, your Soul decided that a certain thing would be your life purpose. (Some people refer to this information as what is contained in the Akashic records). HOW YOU EXPERIENCE YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS UP TO YOU. Once you get here and go through some experiences, it is up to you to decide whether or not to stay on the path you are on, or switch things up a bit.

Is it comfortable for you here? Do you feel like you are living your purpose? Which path do you chose to walk down on your way to fulfilling your purpose?

When I do a reading and see something coming up for someone and they do not like it, they can change it. Knowledge is a part of the power and control. ** Most people can tap into this themselves if they really want to, but it takes meditation, and patience and lots and lots of practice. Most have been conditioned to respond to things in a certain mindful or logical way and when they get inspired to do something completely different than what most people would call ‘normal’, they ignore it. In essence, they don’t listen to their inner guidance. So they may unconsciously, but yet from a soul level, create something that appears undesirable in everyday life in order to facilitate a change.

There have been times where I’ve looked at my own path, and consciously changed where I saw myself headed. I look, I see, I don’t like, I mediate, pray, ask for help, make changes, do energy work, ask through meditation which other way I can do it, whatever it takes to do things in a new way. I don’t think I really need to do more than just hold the intention of changing it, but doing those things helps me stay balanced and focused.

There are itmes when I look and see something I don’t like and I just prepare myself for it. There are a lot of difficult things I’ve gone though in my life but each and every one of them has made me who I am today. If not for the bad stuff, if my entire life had just been a bed of roses, I certainly wouldn’t be able to relate to people who are going through a tough time themselves. When I connect with a client who is going through a difficult time, it is easier for me to feel compassion if I’ve been there myself.

Anyway, next time you are trying to manifest or control something, take a look at what your end goal is. Does what you are doing in your day to day life right now support the end goal of what you want? What your higher self is trying to achieve? Do you need to shake things up a bit? Are you headed down a path where the only option for your higher self to get you where you need/want to be is through discomfort?

Sometimes you cannot dictate exactly what reaching your goal looks like. You don’t always get to where you want to be via the path that you initially planned with your mind, you may need to make adjustments along the way, but you truly do have control over where you end up.

** For those of you who wish to work on connecting with Spirit and learning how to “Do it Yourself”, I have recently received an online course to review called Psychic Awakening.
I will be posting a full review of the course in the next two weeks. However, after my initial perusal, I am confident that the course will be helpful to many.

Or, with psychic readings, sometimes when a free reading is offered, you get the “reading”, but its vague and then you get bombarded with spam, or worse yet someone tells you that you have a curse and it will take hundreds, or sometimes thousands of dollars to remove it.

In those cases, yes, it really was too good to be true.

There is reason to be cautious sometimes, but please don’t discount everything good that is offered to you. There are tons of things out there that truly are good – and true. No strings if you don’t want them. I just went to a seminar a couple weeks ago for a timeshare. I walked away with two tickets to a Canucks game and a $50.00 Visa Gift Card. (For those of you who don’t know, the Canucks, are Vancouver, BC’s NHL Hockey Team). I must tell you that these tickets are hard to come by.

Yes, I did have to drive into the city. Yes, it did take a few hours out of my life. But, I went with my family and we went for dinner and used the Visa card to pay for it. We turned it into an adventure and enjoyed ourselves. Yes, it was a bit of a hard-sell, but there was no requirement to buy anything, and as much as the sales people really pushed their product, they were, for the most part, nice.

A lot of people who are reading this are familiar with the Law of Attraction, and of working to manifest positive things into their life. Well, I can tell you that there is nothing like the statement “too good to be true” to block positive things from manifesting. You cannot expect positive things to come into your life if you block them by not believing that good things can come your way …for absolutely no good reason except that you have asked for them and expect them to come!

This has happened, even with my psychic readings. I always try and get people in as soon as I can but the wait can vary from a few days to a few weeks. Sometimes it takes me 2-3 weeks to even answer an email. This is usually dependent on my workload ~ I do not have an assistant, I do it all myself, so there’s not usually any rhyme or reason to it ~ I get to things when I can get to them.

Back to the subject of too good to be true…every so often, just as I have had time freed up over the next couple of days for one reason or another, an email will pop right into my inbox and I will be ‘told’ that I should fit that person in, often even before I open the email. My day had been cleared up for reasons seemingly beyond my control. I think, oh, I have time for a reading, and “ding” ~ “you’ve got mail”.

I’ve actually had two people tell me over the years (two is not a lot by any means, but I sometimes wonder, if two told me, how many didn’t bother), that when I replied right away, they figured I must be some sort of a scammer or something. Because my website says I’m so busy, and that I can be slow to respond to people, they figured that everything on my website was false. A good example of ‘too good to be true’. What if the people that get the response right away are just getting really good at manifesting things? What if its not too good to be true, but a clear example of ‘I get what I need’.

Think about that next time you tell yourself that something must be too good to be true. Take a close look at it. Is it really? Or is it just that what you want is coming to you? And coming much faster than you ever imagined it could.

I do think we need to be diligent to not be taken advantage of, but with a little bit of common sense and research, that isn’t likely to happen to you anyway.

How about, next time something like this comes your way, check it out, do your due diligence, and then just be thankful. Appreciate what is offered, show gratitude and accept it. Allow the energy of allowing to flow towards you. What you focus on you create. So why not focus on good things coming and appreciating them when they do … then you will only create more good things.